28

This year, my birthday/Christmas list says a lot about my life right now. Usually, I ask for an assortment of clothes, gift cards and jewelry, but this year is a little different. Here's what my list says about me:

- Someone to write grad papers and take an administrative law test for me: "HEEEELP." (Actually, this wasn't on my list, and now that the semester is over, I can laugh about it. I honestly considered asking/bribing/paying lots of cash to someone to do all that work for me.)

- A steam cleaner for my carpet: "I'm in nesting mode, but bending down to scrub spots off of my shows-every-tiny-spot carpet is not in the cards right now." (How do those spots even get there in the FIRST PLACE???)

- Cute flats/Toms: "I will be sad if I get a really cute pair of heels and can't wear them for more than an hour without getting swollen feet or losing my balance and falling over."

- LOTS of books (this is not an out-of-the-ordinary gift request for me, however, perhaps I should share my list):

Knuffle Bunny is my absolute favorite. In fact, on our first date, David took me to Barnes and Noble (lots of brownie points for that one) and I showed him this book.

How could you not like this book? It's about a pigeon....driving....a bus.

Such a beautiful book.

I'll admit, I don't know a lot about this one. But I found it and fell in love with the illustrations (the dog looks like Remus) and the name. The title makes me laugh every time I say it!

So that's my list. It certainly has a different feel to it than my lists in years past. However, I will say what I've said to David for the last week. It means more to me to be done with the hardest semester of grad school that I've ever had to endure, to have a job that I love, to be healthy and surprisingly comfortable for almost 7 months pregnant, to have a freshly-painted room for Elysen that is filling up quickly with gifts from friends, to have my 2 sweet dogs who are so happy to see me every minute of every day, and to have my greater-than-great, sweeter-than-sweet husband who I love so very much. I am far happier this year on my 28th birthday than I have been on any birthday before, and far happier than any list of presents could make me.

"My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God, my Savior, for the Mighty One has done great things for me - holy is His name." (Luke 1:46-47, 49)

You and Me

Elysen,

Two nights ago, you made your mother very sick for the third time just because you didn't like something I ate before bedtime. I am making a mental note that sugary things apparently give you (and me) an upset tummy when it's close to bed. On those nights, I wake up and you are bouncing around like crazy. I almost woke up David just so he could see my belly moving around, but since it was 2:45, I figured I'd let him sleep.

You move all the time. In fact, Dr. Birch had a hard time catching up with you at our last appointment to get a measure on your heartbeat. It's the most amazing thing. I don't think I really understood that I was pregnant until I felt you move and kick. From that moment, the other things I'm busy with (grad school, teaching, evaluating teachers) seemed to become less and less important to me. You already have spunk and spirit, and I love that about you. We know several couples who have recently suffered miscarriages, so feeling you move will never be something I take for granted even if it wakes me up. I know it's the thing I'll miss the most about being pregnant with you.

Every night I pray that God will give David and I the wisdom to be your parents. We know that this is a difficult world in which to raise a Godly young lady, but we also know that He will guide us if we keep our eyes on Him. We talk about you every night before bed - wondering what you'll look like (I can already tell from the sonogram that you have such a pretty profile) and what your personality will be.

The house is changing! We are busy getting your room ready. My mom is making some beautiful crib bumpers for you out of some fabric that I painstakingly picked. And, of course, it's December now so we've decorated everything for Christmas. This is my favorite time of year, and I'm usually sad when it ends, but this year, I have you to look forward to! February is coming so fast, and I know I won't be able to believe it when it's finally here.

Right now, I am just loving the fact that you are my Elysen - no one else gets to carry you, no one else gets to feel you squirm (though lots of family has felt you kick), no one else gets this amazing miracle. It's just you and me right now, and I love you with all of my heart.

It's a Girl!

About 3 weeks ago, David and I went to my 20 week sonogram appointment. Our number one prayer was that the baby would be healthy and everything would look normal. My second greatest prayer was that the baby would cooperate so that we could see what he/she was!

My intuition from day 1 of this pregnancy had been that the baby was a girl. And several people shared that feeling based on the way I'm carrying her. Even David started saying, "It's a girl", a couple of days before the appointment.

Our technician was so kind, and one of David's friends from work has a wife who works at the Breast Center, so we invited her into the room as well. So the baby had a whole crowd cheering her on. Because we were so blessed to have a healthy baby, it was SUCH a fun appointment.

The first few minutes, the technician said, "Well, I don't see anything that indicates that it's a boy" - but that was not good enough for me. I wanted to be SURE before we started buying dresses and pink bows. :)

So proper with her pinky up.

Thankfully, we ended up getting a great view - or, at least, that's what the technician told us, I couldn't tell what we were looking at. So we know for sure - it's a girl! I was worried that David might be disappointed, but the second that someone at work brought him a camo onesie with lace collar, I'm pretty sure he was hooked.

David's clothing choice....

My clothing choices.

So the next huge step for our family was the one I've been worried about since we first decided to start trying for a baby - names. It would be a gross understatement to say that David and I have different opinions on names. We made ourselves wait to even talk about names until we knew the baby's sex - then at least that would narrow our choices by 50%. Still, it was a difficult process with many nights spent reading through name books and saying "Do you like this?" only to be met with a strong NO.

A few weeks ago, we started talking about incorporating family names into the baby's name. Above all, I wanted her name to have a story behind it, instead of "Well, we just flipped through a book and picked that one". So, after a lot of discussion, and playing with combinations, we decided on a name that we both love.

Elysen Ashleigh Savage

Her first name is a combination of my sister's names - Allison and Elise (Ash's middle name). Her middle name is a combination of Sarah's middle name (Ashley) and my middle name (Leigh).

I'm so proud of this name. It's elegant and ladylike, but unique and special to our family. She is named after 3 of the best women I know. My hope for my baby girl is that she has the patient heart of her aunt Sarah, the strength of her aunt Allison, and the easy, fun-loving spirit of her aunt Ashley. An added bonus - according to our name book, Elysen is a feminine form of Elijah, which means "The Lord is my God".

David and I are so thankful to our God for blessing us with Baby Elysen. We can't wait to meet her! Here is another picture of our sweet girl.

This one's my favorite because I feel like I can tell just a little bit what she might look like. I love her nose.

Add It to the List...

Today is September 11 - 9 years since the day I was sitting in my World Civilizations class at OBU as a brand new freshman and heard the news that America had been attacked. I'd been in school for less than a month. There was not another day that I wanted to be back in Tyler more than that one. What a day.

My professor said he couldn't teach with things like that going on, so I went back to my dorm room to watch tv. I had visions of draft reinstatement and world war that didn't amount to much, but I have never felt the world change more clearly or quickly than in those hours watching tv. We had a campus-wide chapel to pray for our nation and our President, but mainly, I think we all just needed to be together for support.

Even today, as I was driving to town and saw flags at half mast, I felt some tears come to my eyes. September 11, 2001 will always be a day that is strongly tied to emotion for me and everyone who remembers it. (Of course, that's probably multiplied today by pregnancy hormones.) I don't think anyone really will read this besides me, but thank you to every person out there who's serving or has served our country. This day always makes me particularly grateful.

On a slightly lighter note, my crazy husband decided to fly today of all days on a "bucket list" sort of adventure. He left early this morning with Billy to fly to Amarillo, TX. Now, why would anyone randomly fly to Amarillo, you ask? Well, I'll tell you why : steak. BIG steak.

David and Billy flew to Amarillo to take on the Big Texan's 72 oz. steak challenge. In 1 hour, they tried to eat a steak the size of a barn, a potato, roll, salad, and 3 shrimp.

I am sad to report, neither of them succeeded. But that wasn't really the point, I suppose. After David returns and reports his feat of eating 44.8 oz of steak and some sides in a single sitting, it will become another "Remember that time when...." story for the 2 of them to laugh about. Just another thing to add to the list of quirks that make me love my husband so very much. Who else flies to Amarillo for a $72 "I attempted to eat the 72 oz steak" t-shirt (aka, meal payment for not finishing) and a bellyache?

(The moment of defeat)

It's Been Awhile

2 months since my last post. That's bad.

What have I been doing all this time??? Well, first there was school, then there was sickness, then there was exhaustion, then there was more school. I am sensing a trend.

After a month in Russellville working hard on my last summer of grad school (only 3 more classes to go!), I was more than worn out when David picked me up on our anniversary to move me home. Not only was I tired, I didn't feel very good either, I was nauseous and felt feverish. That night, I took a pregnancy test (for the heck of it). I always thought I'd have this "feeling" when I was pregnant, a sixth sense about what was happening in my body. Well, I had NO IDEA. Now that I've been feeling it for many weeks, I would know the feeling if it happened again, but there was no intuition happening here.

Now I'm 13 weeks along and feeling much better. The sickness is slowly wearing off. It only comes periodically now. It's strange to know that you have a baby inside, but not be able to see it or feel it. But I'm not rushing my belly to grow...after all, I'll have plenty of time to "enjoy" it once it's here. I know February 28th will be here soon enough. :)

David is extremely sweet and supportive. He picks up things at the store that have been tasting good to me, and hopes that they are still tasting good when he brings them home. I am very sensitive to smells, and have lost many an appetite due to unfriendly aromas.

We are enjoying this new change in our lives, while still going on with things as they have always been - I started back to school today. My students were excited to hear the news and wanted to ask all kinds of questions like if we got pregnant "on purpose". (In their defense, I guess most of the pregnancies they see are accidental.)

I am trying to keep a journal of my experience that the baby can read/laugh at some day...well, if it's a girl, she probably will. I doubt a boy would be too interested in reading it.

For now, I'm just as happy as can be, and feeling blessed every single day.

I will leave this post with a picture of our sweet "Bluebud" (David's came up with that one).

Things that make you go.....hmmm....

It's been forever since I've posted on here. Why? Well, mainly because I haven't had much to say lately. This semester has flown by and I have been busy to the level of insanity.

Today's post is about a lesson learned, and all the good reflection it has sparked over my 5 years of teaching. One of my suite-mates from college, and a fellow education major, Emily (see her pretty picture below and in previous posts) reopened this wound earlier today with her own blog post. So I thought I might join in the walk down memory lane.

(Emily and Harper - not Miles)

The story begins with a class that Emily and I had to take to complete our education major: Educational Technology. Now, I have taken Ed Tech classes since then that are what I consider...oh....educational....and technological. This class was neither.

We learned PowerPoint. We learned how to turn on an overhead projector and then how to properly turn it off (it's an art, really). We learned how to oh so carefully change the slides in a slide reel. Seriously...a slide reel - this was a class taken after the year 1990, just to clarify.

Anyway, I digress. Emily pulled out a scratch piece of paper one day during class and we started writing notes back and forth. The topic of the note mainly centered on how bored we were, and how we couldn't wait to get out of class. I didn't think about it again when we left class and headed to the rest of our day.

Then, I was sitting in my next class when a teacher's assistant came and asked me to stop by my Ed Tech professor's office after class.......what?

I started thinking about how she probably wanted to thank me for doing a great job with changing slides or something, and took off towards our classroom when my current class was over.

As I bounced into my professor's office, something told me - TURN BACK, DON'T GO INSIDE. The something that told me this was the look on my professor's face, and the matching look on Emily's face when I saw her sitting right inside the office. Oh. Dear.

To make a long story short, our note almost forced this lady into early retirement. Emily had written something along the lines of "This class is for retards". I, of course, do not condone the use of this word in any derogatory manner, and neither does Emily, but we were stupid college kids writing a note in class. However, from the tears streaking down the face of the professor, she took this note VERY personally. She launched into a tirade about our insult to her teaching and about how she just "could not handle this right now" because of "issues" in her personal life (there were specifics mentioned - funeral preparations, mother-in-laws - I don't even remember). We sincerely apologized to this woman over and over and OVER again for the next hour, and left her office feeling like the worst people on earth.

So why am I sharing this lowest of the low moment for all to read? I'm telling it because at the time, even though I felt bad, I knew that something was wrong. I wasn't a teacher yet, so I didn't know what it felt like to have a room full of kids waiting to be entertained (pretty intimidating). But at the same time, I vowed that I would never let this happen to me - my personal life needed to stay as far away from my job as possible.

Thanks to that professor, I have kept this promise. I've had 17 year old kids say some bad things to me - ranging from the perverse to the flat out rude (see: "Mrs. Savage, don't be offended by this but have you gained weight?"). But I have kept my promise to myself, and to Emily. I might have shed a few tears from day to day in my career, but never EVER in front of my kids. If one my my students hurts my feelings, I talk to them and help them to see how this behavior is not one that works for them. I keep my emotions to myself...even if I'm having a bad day.....even if I'm mad at something David did.....even if I was feeling particularly fat at that moment, thank you very much.

My students are a great blessing to me. My stupidity and that professor's poor handling of the situation ruined any tiny amount of potential for a healthy teacher/student relationship. And any chance of me learning from her ended that day. We were completely in the wrong, but we still lost all respect for her.

Now, I'm stepping down from my tiny soapbox to say one final thing: teaching is the most rewarding career on earth. Whether you teach little ones who need help blowing noses or big ones who need help finishing Algebra, you're going to go home at the end of the day exhausted but fulfilled. My call into the "principal's office" of college showed me one thing: life is WAY too short to take things personally in the classroom.