Countless Silken Ties of Love and Thought

10 months

2011-12-18T20:59:00.000-08:00

Elysen, today you are 10 months old. This month has gone by so much faster than the others because we've been so busy with the holidays.

Weight: Probably still hovering around 18 lbs.

Height: Not sure

Sizes: You are still in a size 3 diaper. You are wearing 9 month clothes and a few 12 month outfits.

What you're up to:

- EVERYTHING! You are into just about everything imaginable. You are crawling - army crawling, scooting, etc. - and you can move extremely quickly when you spot something that you shouldn't have. There are presents under our tree and we have to cover them with the couch pillows so that you don't notice them. You also are putting anything and everything into your mouth. We have had to fish some things out of your jaws of steel so that you wouldn't choke.

- While we're on the subject of eating, you are also eating all sorts of fun food. I've almost stopped giving you your oatmeal because it made your tummy rumbly. I'll break out the baby food sometimes, but most often, you eat puffs or Cheerios or saltines or whatever else we have around. Last month, we went to Chick-fil-A and I got you a fruit cup. You loved the mandarin oranges. You also like bananas, which is no surprise since you've liked the banana-flavored oatmeal and baby food for a long time.

- You are pulling up on everything. You try to take steps if we are holding your hands, but you're not really trying to walk. You are very sturdy on your legs.

- You are giving kisses to everyone and everything....even the dogs (we try to discourage this - Ha!).

- You had your first Thanksgiving this month. We had such fun. You loved eating bites of rolls, sweet potatoes, and cranberry sauce. We were at your Aunt Sarah's house in West Fork on Thanksgiving day. It's the house where your daddy had his first Thanksgiving!

- You love music and you love to dance. And, of course, you still love the dogs so much.

- We went to get your first Christmas tree this month! You had a lot of fun playing around with everyone and looking at the lights. We started a new tradition. After getting the tree, you and I read a Christmas book together and I let you wear your Christmas pjs for the first time. You looked precious.

- We traveled to Branson this month with the Savage family. It was the first time that Charlie got to come with us. You had a fun time playing with everyone in the condo (and unpacking your clothes)

- You are starting to try to say "words". Besides "da-da" and "ma-ma" and "ba-ba", you are making other sounds with recognition. You make a "p" sound when I ask you if you want to go see the puppies outside. You also make the "p" sound when we ask you if want some puffs to eat. You also say "uh-oh" when you drop things (accidentally or on purpose). It makes me happy to see that you are already so smart.

- You love to wrinkle your nose and "sniff" at us. You do it all the time to show off because it makes us laugh. I was so happy to catch this picture of you and your Aunt Sarah sniffing together.

- You had your first haircut today. Your hair fell out a few months ago, except for the hair on the top of your head...well, that hair had gotten so long, and the rest of your hair is only about an inch! Your daddy was very sad and didn't want me to cut it at all. But you were starting to get tangles that we had to comb out, and I knew it would look so cute, so we gave it a little trim tonight. You got mad because you couldn't hold the comb, and it made me so nervous to have scissors close to your head (ha!). But it turned out to look precious.

Sweet girl, we love you more and more every single day. You are full of life and laughter. You make us smile all the time, even when we are stressed or tired. You are developing the sweetest personality, and I can't wait to see what develops over the next month.

You are a gift from God, and we are even more thankful for you during this time of Thanksgiving and Christmas.

We love you so very much.

Elysen's playlist

2011-12-12T20:50:00.000-08:00

These days, we are all about music and dancing.

Since it's almost Christmas, I have been playing Christmas music on the radio while we drive to Amanda's house. At home, we listen to Christmas music on Pandora while we get ready.

But no matter how fun Christmas music is, it cannot possibly compare to THE songs...those few, special songs that are Elysen's favorite. Those songs that inspire Tigger-like bouncing, clapping, and smiles from a very happy girl. Those songs that David and I are slightly tired of hearing, but really we'll never tire of seeing her excitement. Those songs that can make her stop crying when nothing else can.

These are the songs that Elysen loves with her whole heart.

1. The original favorite song - Elmo's Song. Oh my goodness. The minute Elmo starts to play his tiny piano, our baby's eyes light up.

2. My personal favorite of the Sesame Street songs - What I Am by Will.I.Am (aka "Black Eyed Peas" singer extraordinaire). I actually found myself singing this one at work the other day. Elysen loves to dance to this one.

3. Did you know that Elmo's Got the Moves? Well, he does. And I'm sure that Elysen will learn some of these cool dance moves to use in the future when she can stand up on her own. Right now, she just bounces like a crazy girl.

4. Last, but certainly not least, the odd man out: Paradise by Coldplay. I have been a Coldplay fan since their first album, and I must have listened to them when Elysen was in the womb or something because she LOVES this song. This is not a bouncing song - this is a sit-still-and-gaze-in-wonder-at-the-screen kind of song.

The other night, Elysen had a horrible diaper rash because we had started back on regular formula. (We have since gone back to soy). It was so bad that it hurt to even put a diaper on. Nothing helped - not cream, not baths, nothing. When David got home from work, she was sitting in my lap wearing a towel and we were watching all 4 of these videos on YouTube.

Later that night, I decided to tie on a cloth diaper (to protect the carpet). We let her watch and listen to her songs until bath time. She was so happy....and no music has ever sounded so sweet. :)

Go ahead and laugh

2011-12-03T20:35:00.001-08:00

   Today was one of many girl movie outings with Brittany. She counts on me to go to the movies that Emery can't stand...i.e. Harry Potter, romantic comedies, and Twilight. Today was about the last category on that list. We both really enjoyed the movie - and that is why I titled this post "Go ahead and laugh". Yes, I am an adult and yes, today I liked a Twilight movie. But, for those of you who are still reading, I would like to say that my enjoyment today did not in any way come from the phenomenon known as the great Edward Cullen.
   When I discovered this series (and I do say "discovered" because I had no idea what a craze I would inspire by ordering this relatively unknown book from the Scholastic magazine), I was in my first year at Lincoln...that would be 7 years ago. I read it first because I wanted to see if a vampire tale could possibly be appropriate for the classroom library (because Anne Rice is not really up my alley). I continued reading because I liked the story. And I continued to give it to my students because it was doing something I couldn't: it was making them read!
   When I read New Moon, I had just fallen head over heels in love with David, and I felt the pain of Bella's loss because I could imagine how I would feel if it were my own. Today, I felt that same sensation...sort of. My eyes watered during the wedding scene (I have to admit, I always tear up at weddings). But it was a song on the soundtrack that pulled me in the most. The melody is lovely, and the singer's voice is just the right amount of scratchy but on-pitch. But the lyrics...

   "I surrender who I’ve been for who you are,
   For nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart.
   If I had only felt how it feels to be yours,
   Well, I would have known what I’ve been living for all along.
   What I’ve been living for.
   - "Turning Pages" by Sleeping at Last

   I told David tonight that, yes, I though of him, but the reason I had to pick up a tissue to dab my eyes for th rest of the movie was because of Bella and her sacrifice for her child. When she talked to her unborn child and felt her move...teary eyes. When she refused to sacrifice her child's life to save her own...teary eyes. When the baby was born and made its first tiny baby noises...I'll be darned if Brittany didn't have tears on her cheeks as well. When Jacob realizes what it is to live for another person in a completely (well, almost completely) unselfish way...I had to get another napkin.
   Before any of you starts to wonder why I haven't mentioned it: of course, I know that the greatest sacrificial love was exemplified in my Savior. However, I couldn't come close to understanding it before I became a mother. Now, I still don't fully understand the love of Christ but I do understand what it is to "surrender who I've been" in order to help Elysen become who she will be. Even though she is not ALL I've been living for my whole life, she is the reason that I know what it means to truly love another unselfishly and through that, to truly live. So laugh all you want, I will admit...I went to a Twilight movie and I shed tears as though it was real life. There are just those times when a movie hits you on a perfect day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E20WNhsDXwE

9 months

2011-11-18T19:21:00.001-08:00

Well, sweet girl, you are 9 months old. What a big girl!

Weight: 17.5 lbs....so petite.

Height: Don't know. We'll get an update in a couple of weeks at your appointment.

Sizes: You're wearing a size 3 diaper. Your 9 month clothes are just now at the point where they fit you perfectly. I think you'll need to move to 12 month pjs soon. You always outgrow those first. I had to do a major pack-up of all the clothes from 3-6 months (even though you can still wear some of your 6 month outfits).

What you’re up to:

- You are getting so close to crawling . You are scooting andinch-worming and rolling where you want to go. Usually, that means that thereis something across the room that you are not supposed to have…that alwaysmakes you move at light speed. Your favorite thing to go for is electricalcords. I have to keep them up and out of the way or behind furniture.

- You have 4 teeth and you look very grown up with them. Ithink you are getting more because we haven’t slept well in this house for 2months. You wake up crying a lot and I know you’re hurting. It makes me sad.

- You are a crazy bather lately. You want to crawl around andreach for things that are not in your bathtub. We need to get you a bath seatfor the big tub because you are just too squirmy for that little tub. You lovethe water. I think you will like swimming some day.

*Update: We went to Marmee and Grandad's a few days before Thanksgiving. You spit up in your tub one night, so your daddy let you sit in the regular tub. You LOVED it. So the baby tub is out and bathing free is in!*

- We took you to the dr. last week because of a lingeringcold/congestion and some tummy troubles. The dr. was concerned that you mightnot be digesting milk very well, so she switched you to soy formula for amonth. I was very worried that you would not like it since it smells and tastesdifferent. But, I should have known, you didn’t even bat an eye.

- You have started giving kisses this month. For awhile, youwould just open your mouth and slobber all over me a million times. But howcould I not let you kiss me?! Then, I guess you started associating kissingwith my kissing you on the forehead, so you started just butting me with yourforehead every time I asked for a kiss. Now you’ve figured it out. I could justget kisses from you all day. It’s so precious.

- You are definitely more independent these days. You willhold your own bottle and get your puffs. You’ve also had some “real” food.Tonight, we ate a little cracker together. You love when I put an orange slicein your teether so that you can eat the juice. If we can just get your tummytroubles worked out, I think you will love food!

- You had your first Halloween this month. You were astrawberry. Everyone loved your sweet costume. We went to the church fallfestival and we also went trick-or-treating on the square. You loved watchingall the people.

- We took you to a pumpkin patch at a local church for somepictures. It was a great little outing for us. You loved the pumpkins…youwanted to kiss them over and over. But they were dirty, so I put a stop tothat.

- You say lots of “words” now. You say “Dada”, “Mama”, “baba”, and sometimes (if you’re feeling generous) you’ll even say “Uh-oh” if we say it first. I also think that you say “Hi” or “Hey” after we do, but I can’t tell if it’s on purpose. You will also shake your head when we say "No-no-no". (This is both cute and probably bad...ha!)

- You are starting to wave at people, but we can’t get you to do it when we want. Ha! You just wave whenever you feel like it. Usually, this is when we’re in a big crowd and there are lots of people to impress.

- When you get very excited, you kick and squirm just likeyou’re a swimming frog. We call it “swimming” – so I guess you’re ready for thepool! Ha!

- Everyone loves you so much. We can’t go anywhere without someone wanting to see you and compliment us on how sweet you are. Your Marmee and Grandad came for a visit last week, and when Marmee and I took you shopping, we couldn’t get out of a store without being stopped by someone wanting to talk to you. I always just smile and say “thank you”, but really I’m thinking how much I agree with every word.

- You are in love with the dogs, especially Remus. You love tobe in your bouncer when he is inside. Then you can reach out and pet his ears.He will sniff your face and you just go crazy with excitement. He is so patientwith you, and, unlike Darsee, he doesn’t lick you. So it works out great.

The next time I write an update, it will almost beChristmas! Oh my goodness, you are changing and growing every single day. Wewent to the NWA Boutique Show tonight and I saw a sign that I told your ReeReewas so true. It said, “A child fills a place in your heart that you didn’t evenknow was empty.” Elysen Ashleigh, this is so true. You may not sleep well andyou may get fussy sometimes, but I just love you more every single day. Myheart is so full because you are in my life.

Family photo at the pumpkin patch!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

A fall dish

2011-10-20T17:28:00.000-07:00

This week, it has been very chilly around here. In fact, yesterday we tied the record low for this time of year. Our nights are in the 20s!
In honor of fall, last night, I threw some things together into a soup/stew and we LOVED it! The thing we both liked the most is that the sweet potatoes added a richness to the dish. And we also loved that was could eat as much as we wanted - very healthy! So I decided to write this down so that I don't forget it!

Chicken/Sweet potato stew

2 boneless skinless chicken breasts
1/2 onion
3 cloves of garlic
1 large sweet potato
1/4 cup brown rice
1-2 tsp paprika
1 tsp onion flakes
1- 1 1/2 Tbs Italian seasoning
Salt and pepper
1 cup low-sodium chicken broth
1 28 oz can of crushed tomatoes

Cut the chicken into cubes and brown in 1 Tbs of butter or oil. Chop the onion and add to the pot. Cook until clear. Chop and add garlic. Cut the sweet potato into cubes (relatively same size as the chicken). Add to the pot. Then add the spices and the rice (uncooked). Add the broth and tomatoes and stew on low for 30 minutes or until the potatoes are soft.

This soup is very thick - really a stew. To make it more soupy, add an extra 14 oz or 28 oz can of tomatoes.

Makes 4 servings.

Happy Fall!

8 months

2011-10-18T18:52:00.000-07:00

Sweet girl, you are 8 months old! We can tell that you are getting big because you are so much more involved with everything in our house.

Weight: Not sure, but it is getting much harder to carry you in your carrier....what a workout!

Height: Not sure on this one either

Sizes: You are wearing a size 3 diaper. You seem to be sort of in between sizes right now. Many of your clothes are 6 month, but they are getting a little snug. You are wearing all 9 month pjs, so I know that it won't be long until you are wearing mostly 9 month clothes. I laugh every time I put you in a onesie and pants because you can wear 9 month onesies, but your 3 month pants still fit! Ha! You are such a short girl - just like your mommy.

What you're up to:

There's so much to write this month! You have gotten so busy.

- You love to stand in your jumper chair/exersaucer. You push the buttons and "dance" (bounce up and down) when the music comes on.

- You love to sit on the floor in the middle of your toys and play to your heart's content. You never want one toy for more than 2 minutes, so you lean and grab another one.

- You must have gone through a growth spurt this month because you've been waking up occasionally in the middle of the night and you've been eating us out of house and home! I mixed your rice cereal with some banana-flavored oatmeal and you really like it. So you have oatmeal every day at least twice or 3 times along with some baby food. Your favorites are anything with apples or anything with bananas. We also started eating meat this month....gross. It's hard for me to feed it to you because it grosses me out!

- You also started eating puffs this month. I knew you were ready, so I bought some. The first time I gave them to you, you made such a funny face because of the texture, but I could tell you liked them. The next day, I put 3 of them on your high chair tray to entertain you for a bit, and when I turned around, you were picking one up between your thumb and finger. Then, you put it into your mouth and ate it! So now there are puffs everywhere - stuck to you, stuck to your jump seat, in the bottom of the high chair, in your pack and play....I keep finding them! You put them in your fist and then hold onto them forever!
(P.S. - If you look closely at the 8 month picture above, you'll see a puff in your hand. It was the only way I could get you to stop trying to crumple the sign!)

- We had a special treat this month. You and I got to go and help Aunt Sarah pick out her wedding dress! She tried on a lot of different ones and we found just what she was looking for! Baby Manning came with Mrs. Martin. It was so crazy how small she felt when I picked her up! I can't believe you used to be so small.

- You went camping for the first time this past weekend. We went to Texas for our annual Burkhart family campout. You had a great time being outside, watching the dogs run around, and, of course, playing with your Marmee, Grandad, Aunt Allison, Uncle JB, and Aunt Ashley. Sadly, the night was not fun for any of us. You were up constantly from being cold or from your stuffy nose. Your Daddy and I got VERY little sleep. But you were sweet and slept great last night so that we could all catch up. I know you must have been so worn out because today you fell asleep on the way to Ms. Amanda's house.

- You are about to be on the move! You aren't crawling yet (and I am just fine with you taking your time), but you are rolling all over the place to get where you want to be. You roll back and forth until you make it to your destination. It cracks me up. If I take my eyes off of you for 10 minutes, you are on the other side of the room!

Camping picture with Aunt Allison

- This last week, you have started to give "kisses" on my mouth and chin and nose. Who knew I would ever end up so slobbery on purpose???

Bottle time with Uncle JB

- You definitely have developed an attitude/temper. If something you want doesn't happen just the way you like, you throw such a fit. But I think you are starting to realize that you don't always get your way because you will scream for a minute and then stop when no one is doing what you want. You actually stomped your foot at me the other day....yikes.

I took away the "8 month" sign...big mistake

- You are starting to say some "words", even though you don't know what they mean. You say "da-da" most often and you love it when we say it back to you. You also have been saying "ba-ba" for awhile. Just this week I heard you say "ma-ma" more clearly than you have before. We are working on associating those sounds with actual things.

You sure do love your daddy!

One of my favorite parts of the day is when I get to pick you up from Mrs. Amanda's house. She comes to the door with you and you practically jump out of her arms to get to me. You do this a lot when you're excited. We call it your "swimming" because you look like a little frog kicking and moving your arms. People at church think it's the most precious thing ever.

Part of me is sad when I see that you're getting big, but mostly, I'm just overjoyed when I watch you learn and grow. I love seeing each thing that you can do, and I especially love that I can tell how much you love me.

You are just too wonderful. We love you so very much, Elysen Ashleigh.

How God Uses Technology

2011-10-09T20:05:00.000-07:00

   Last week, Steve Jobs passed away from a long battle with cancer. Though I never knew him personally, of course, I was sad when I heard the news. I was sad because it's heartbreaking to see a technological genius leave the earth.
   In that same vein, I had a moment tonight where I was extremely grateful for technology and for the MacBook (see Steve Jobs above) on which I am currently writing this blog post.
Isn't technology amazing? I am able to keep journal/blog entries and pictures and videos somewhere in some outer space, internet storage place....and that's amazing. I can use Facebook to keep up with friends and acquaintances - then when I see them in person, I can tell them congratulations on their new job, or how cute that last birthday party was, or how beautifully their new house is decorated. Strange. And yet, I love it when people tell me that they keep up with us through technology.
   Tonight, God used technology in a way that He has used it many times for me - as a method of conviction. Elysen had a pile of dirty clothes (drool, drool, and more drool), and a pair of poopy pjs that needed hand-washing before I put them in the laundry. Gag. I was sitting on the floor looking at the computer when I should have been doing the laundry. As I surfed around, I came upon the blog of a friend of a friend whose 4 year old daughter just finished her 4th round of chemo. As I looked at the pictures and videos, I heard the small voice of this girl. Her voice sounded just like all little girls' voices - sweet and timid - just the way that I know Elysen's will sound in a few years. Only this girl's voice was full of pain, even though she is healing and overcoming her cancer. She is definitely having to fight.
   And with that, I closed my computer and went to wash out poopy clothes - 100% grateful for the fact that I have a baby girl to dirty those clothes. But before the laundry, I took a short detour to the nursery where I watched her sleep for a few minutes.
   Thank you, Lord for reminding me that my complaints are so very small. How can I complain when I am overwhelmingly blessed?

Our afternoon conversation...

2011-09-29T17:18:00.001-07:00

Elysen is getting so big. She almost sounds like she's really talking these days....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-k3B4BQPiDU

7 months

2011-09-18T19:21:00.000-07:00

Elysen, my sweet girl, you are 7 months old today! You are my big girl!

Weight: Probably about 16 lbs. You were about that much 2 weeks ago at your 6 month appointment.

Height: Not sure

Sizes: You are still wearing a size 2 diaper. You are mostly in 6 month clothes now. But, you still have some 3-6 month pjs that fit you. I had a funny experience last week. It's been so hot here all summer that you've mostly been wearing little sandals or going barefoot. Well, it suddenly got cool here and I went to put your socks on and they were too small! You still had a couple of pairs that fit - but even those were snug. So last Sunday I ran to Target after church and got you some socks. Good thing, too, because it's been pretty chilly and you needed them! I guess sometimes I forget that you're growing fast!

Wearing your new outfit from Marmee.

What you're up to:

- Well, you have been a busy girl this month. You are very good at sitting up now. I still put pillows behind you or sit beside you because you love to try to get all the toys that are just out of your reach. Then you fall over - sometimes very quickly. You love sitting because you can see things and reach lots of things. If you do fall over, you get mad because you love sitting up.

- You love to make noises with your mouth. You blow bubbles and growl and gurgle all the time. And you talk to us a lot too. You don't talk a lot when you're around other people, but you are getting more vocal. I can't tell if you're going to be a talker or a quiet observer.

- As of 5 days ago - you have a tooth! Actually, you have 2 but one hasn't quite broken through yet. The one that's out is so sharp! You were chewing my finger today and it actually hurt me at one point! I knew it was time to find other things for you to chew on. I got you Sophie the giraffe and a Nuby ring. You like them both, but that ring is the BEST! It must feel really good on your gums because you get mad when we take it away.
*Update: As of September 20, you have BOTH of your bottom front teeth! Oh my!*

- On that same note, your sleeping has been very touch-and-go this month. You'll have several bad nights, then a few good ones where you sleep all night, then you're up again for hours at a time at 2 a.m. After your bad nights you are so worn out during the day. One day this week, you had a really rough night, and you woke up at 7:30 even though you'd been up from 2 until 3:30. I knew you had to be exhausted - and I certainly was too (and your daddy was, but he had to go to work). I went to get you from your crib when you cried and the minute I had you, you just lay your head on my shoulder. By the time I walked to the other end of the house, you were sound asleep - seriously, you were snoring. So I put you on Daddy's side of the bed (with pillows to keep you away from the edge) and I got back in on my side. And we took a nice little nap until I had to get ready for work an hour later. It was so sweet.

- You are eating less often now. We try to do solids at least once every day - depending on how you're feeling. The food can contribute to the tummy troubles that teething gives you, so sometimes we skip it. You do love your food. I can see you thinking about the new flavor and deciding whether you like it. I'm excited for you to get to eat real food in several months.

- Your Marmee and Grandad came to visit us a few weeks ago over Labor Day weekend. Your Marmee was in heaven. She kissed you and rocked you and hugged you so much. I know that she didn't want to go home. The only bad part of their visit was that you woke up one night screaming at the top of your lungs and we couldn't get you to settle down. The best I can figure - you had a night terror. You wouldn't even open your eyes. So we learned that you have to get your rest or else you have bad dreams.

Something I've been noticing is that the more I know you, the more I love you. When you were born, I didn't think it was possible to love you any more than I did on that day. I was so wrong. Every time you smile at me or laugh at your daddy, every time I snuggle with you, every time I watch you learn about a toy or book, every time I watch you giggle at Darsee and Remus, well, let's be honest, every time I look at you I love you so much more than I did the day before! It's amazing how full my heart can feel.

10 years later...

2011-09-11T19:26:00.000-07:00

10 years ago today...
   - I was in my freshman year at OBU, in fact, I'd been there for less than a month.
   - I had never been so far away from my family for such an extended period of time.
   - I was looking forward and excited about my future.
   - My best friends were spread across the U.S. Some were back in Texas, Lindsay was in VA,
   Angela was in Fayetteville, AR (ironically).
   - I was just learning to really depend on God to help me through the loneliness that comes when you
   you move away from all that you've ever known.
   - I had never met David...he was attending the U of A and working at Arvest...in fact, I'd never been
   to NW Arkansas at all.

   On that morning, I was in Dr. Auffenberg's World Civilizations class. The first tower had already been hit, but I had no idea - I had just rolled out of bed and rushed to make it to class on time. A student aide who worked in the history department came into our class as Dr. A was informing us about the first tower, and told the professor that the second tower had been hit by a plane - it was clear this was no accident.
   I remember feeling very confused. Dr. A told us that he felt sick. He said, "I can't hold class like this - not with this going on." He told us to go back to our rooms. That was when I knew it was more serious than my initial impression.
   We had chapel that day, and no classes for the rest of the afternoon. I spent my day in the dorm, watching the footage on the news over and over again. I called my mom, and I cried. I felt like a world separated me from my family - even though we were only a 3 1/2 hour drive apart. Lesley and I talked about the future - "What if there's a war?" "What if there's a DRAFT?" "What about the husbands we'd been hoping to find here at college? Would they leave to fight this new enemy?" Even though we never said it, I think all of us realized the innocence and sense of security that our nation had lost.

10 years later....I sat outside tonight with Elysen and David. I told him how amazing it is to me that someday, Elysen will say to me, "Mom, I can't believe there was ever a time you could walk with a person to their departure gate at the airport!"

   I sat in church this morning and cried as we listened to the song "There is Hope" by Dave Pettigrew. I teared up all week as I read the articles and watched the tv specials remembering the fallen. As I sat there tonight, I wondered why it makes me so emotional. I didn't lose anyone personally on that day. I didn't know any of the firemen who died. I didn't even know anyone who lived in NY at the time. But as I sat and thought, I realized that the sadness I feel every time we reach the anniversary of 9/11 comes partially from the loss our country experienced, but mostly, it comes from the glaring reality that the world we live in is full of evil and full of sin.

   There are wonderful things in this world that I have experienced over the past 10 years. I married a man who treats me far better than I deserve. I have a precious girl who tugs at my heart each and every time I look at her. My family is healthy, and I've gained a 2 brothers-in-law, 2 sisters-in-law, and a mother and father-in-law! I have so much to be thankful for. But in the midst of it all, we still have terrorists, and murder, and sin. Every year on September 11th, I remember that we are not long for this world, and that while we are here on an earth where Satan can influence people to commit such atrocities, the only way we can have hope is to look to Jesus.

   In a way, that is what I will always remember about this day: the feeling of lostness, and of desperation, and above all, the feeling that there is only One who will always, always be our hope.

Our Other "Children"

2011-08-24T07:56:00.001-07:00

Today, I was reading this post on one of my favorite blogs and it made me realize that I don't talk much about the dogs these days- I wonder why. Ha!

Before Elysen was born, I had a couple of (mostly hormonal) breakdowns about our sweet puppies. I was so worried that they would feel slighted and lonely when she was born. Since she was born in the winter, I was worried that they would be so cold at night.

When we got home from the hospital with Elysen, I wanted to introduce her to the dogs right away, but I decided to hold off. There was a lot going on. David spent time outside each day with them, even if it was just to play for a bit while he was feeding them. My mom also went out a couple of times while she was here to give them some attention. Poor guys, they had no idea what was going on.

When she was a couple of weeks old, we decided it was time. So we let the dogs in the house. They were so excited to be back inside that they didn't even notice the baby. It wasn't until several days later when we let them in again that they heard a strange noise from the bundle on my lap. They were curious, but still relatively disinterested. I was happy - we could all coexist peacefully. Ha!

Now that Elysen is more independent, they notice her more. What's funny to me is that they deal with her in completely different ways. Darsee has always been one to show love by licking. This is not ok with me when it comes to the baby. So I have to keep a closer eye on Darsee and make sure she's not trying to sneak in a lick. Literally, she will sneak around and try to lick Elysen's foot while still keeping one eye on me making sure I don't see her. Remus is, as always, our calm guy. He rarely licks Elysen or anyone else, so he's the one that Elysen gets to pet. More often than not, when he sees her and notices her trying to reach for him, he will walk away. I think he's afraid he'll get in trouble. But sometimes, she will reach out for his face or ear or back and he will let her pet him. He just sits and enjoys it.

I can tell they both love her so much. And if they could talk, they would probably complain about how they don't get to spend as much time inside these days. However, they would probably also say that because of Elysen, we spend a lot more time outside. And because of Elysen, Darsee has learned to tolerate thunderstorms outside (much to her outrage). We still get to play ball with Remus, and Darsee still gets to sleep in her bed sometimes.

Pretty soon, Elysen will be able to walk or crawl up to them and then they won't know what to do. She gets so excited when she sees them. It's amazing how she knows them already.

The dog lover in me feels overjoyed when I see that Elysen loves Darsee and Remus. My worries of the dogs feeling lonely is gone. I know they have taken a back seat to the new number one in our lives, but they are certainly still an important part. A few days ago, it was a rainy day, so I let the dogs inside. Elysen was fussy and tired, so I rocked her and she fell asleep. I came into the living room, turned out the lights, and snuggled up on the couch with Elysen. Darsee curled up at my feet with her head on my knees, and Remus made his place on the floor next to the couch. And my dog-loving and baby-loving heart was so very full.

6 months

2011-08-18T17:22:00.000-07:00

Elysen Ashleigh, you are 6 MONTHS OLD! Half a year ago, today, your daddy and I got such an amazing gift: you!

Weight: No idea (will update at your 6 month appointment in a few weeks)

*UPDATE: On 8/30 - your 6 month dr's appointment, you weighed 15.68 lbs. (35th percentile). This is WAY lighter than we thought you were. What are we going to do when you are a toddler and weigh 25 lbs????*

Height: 8/30: 24.21 inches (5th percentile....that's right....5th. I think it's safe to say that you're going to be short. But that's great - we love petite girls in this family.)

Sizes: You are wearing 3-6 month pjs and either 3-6 month or 6 month clothes. Some of your 6 month dresses are still a little big, but I can tell you're getting close. I don't know why pajamas are so big. You have some 9 month pjs that look like they could fit a 3 year old. You're wearing a size 2 diaper.

What you're up to:

- You are really into blowing raspberries these days. You will do it for half an hour at a time. Your daddy thinks it's really funny to put you in the Baby Bjorn, then wait until you are in prime spitting mode, then come and lean over me so that I end up with spit all over my head. Yeah, it's sooooo hilarious....not. Haha.

- We are working on sitting up, and you love to "stand" on your legs. You roll over all the time, and you scoot, especially in your crib. We go to get you up in the morning and you are all the way across the crib from where you started. You can sit up if someone is holding your legs to help anchor you down, but otherwise, you fall right over. I'm sure it will be just like rolling over - as soon as you decide to do it, there will be no holding back.

- You love to read books! We can sit in the rocking chair together, and you will pat the pages and giggle or talk to the pictures. Sometimes, you even "read" to yourself when you're on your play mat. You will get a book and talk just like you're reading.

- I spoke too soon about your great sleep in the last post. A day after I posted that, you decided to stop sleeping. I think it was because I had just started back to school. You were learning new things and you were in an unfamiliar place, so I think it upset your sleep pattern. For a week and a half, your daddy and I were sooo tired. One night, you woke up 4 times from midnight to 5 a.m.! Then, I finally just gave up and let you sleep on my chest.

But now you're back to your old self. At least until the next teething episode or life change or growth spurt, we're good to go.

- You are getting to be more inquisitive. Today, I tried to take your picture, and you WOULD NOT look at me! You were too busy looking at the piece of paper and at your crib. I was dancing and acting crazy, and you didn't care one bit.

- You still love to chew on anything and everything. Sometimes, I put my finger in your mouth and shake your chin and it makes the funniest noise. You don't care, you just chew and drool everywhere.

- You are going to Ms. Amanda's every day while Mommy goes to work. I take you over there at 11 and come get you at 4. You were pretty mad at first that you had to sit in the car line in Ms. Amanda's car when she goes to pick up her kids, but now you're getting better.

Speaking of Ms. Amanda's, it has been so hard for me to go back to work this week. Mainly, it's been hard because when I'm at home, I can't just focus on you. I have work to think about, and it's stressful for me. I would love to spend every minute of every day just focusing on you and watching you learn. But I know how blessed I am to get to stay home at all, even if it's just part time.

- You still love bath time - now you're really into splashing all the water out of the tub!

- You are eating lots of foods. So far, you've had bananas, green beans, squash and sweet potatoes. Unfortunately, these foods all give you lots of gas. In fact, I've really cut back on giving them to you because you were waking up in the middle of the night from the gas. I'm not sure what to do - I guess you have a sensitive tummy like your mommy.

- This month, we went to Texas for my 10 year reunion. We had such a good time! The car ride wasn't great, but once we were there it was wonderful to see friends and family. You even got to meet Champ the Cougar!

- I think about your future all the time. You are going to grow up in a world that is so rich with technology. You are already fascinated by our phones (oh dear) and you love to play Baby Aqua on the iPad. I think you really just like to look at the fish and try to touch them.

Sweet girl, I can't stand how big you are getting. You look more grown up every day. This picture of you that I took today looks like a BIG GIRL! Thank goodness it's just that one picture.

I love to watch you learn. And I love to see you look to me when you aren't sure about something. You love to touch my face and grab my hair (ouch!). My favorite part of the day is coming to get you at Ms. Amanda's and seeing you smile when I walk in the house. I already know how much you love me, and it's probably because you can see how much I LOVE YOU!

Miss Independent

2011-08-06T19:49:00.000-07:00

2 days before Elysen turned 5 months old, she suddenly decided that she liked being more independent. She started playing for longer periods of time on her play mat or in her Exersaucer. In the morning, she would wake up happy and play for awhile by herself until we came to get her. And, miracle of miracles - she started sleeping through the night ALL THE TIME! Oh my. I wish I could put into words how wonderful it is to sleep again. For the first 5 months of her life, sleeping through the night was the exception, not the rule.

She's doing a great job eating too! She has now had green beans (not a favorite, but she eats them), squash, bananas (her favorite so far), and peaches. She also eats her rice cereal so much better. We got her a booster seat/high chair. Since she still can't sit up by herself, it wears her out, but she tries every day.

We also traveled to Tyler a little over a week ago for my 10 year reunion. At the last minute, David couldn't come, so Elysen was stuck in the back seat by herself. I'd really like to say that it went great and we had a smooth trip, but, sadly, she cried almost the whole way. On the way to Tyler, I was so stressed. She hasn't cried that much in a long time. It broke my heart. On the way back, I was better prepared, and God gave me the patience to press on.

But, despite the sad driving, Elysen did such a great job while we were there! I had already prepared myself for bad sleeping habits while we were in a strange place. Last time we were there, she wouldn't even nap in her pack-n-play. This time - she was a different child. She slept like a champ! Marmee had to put her to bed Friday and Saturday night, and, once they got their rhythm down, she was good to go. I couldn't believe it!

Elysen has already started going to Ms. Amanda's house for daycare. She went one day last week, and will go 4 days this week during in-service. Then we'll start with the part time days. She did alright on her first day after a rough patch in the morning (she hates taking naps sometimes!). It helps me so much to know that my baby is staying at a house with someone who really loves having her. I know she is going to love playing there this year.

She's also started laughing more frequently. I tell everyone that she has her daddy's sense of humor: very hard to impress when it comes to funny things. She will grin and grin, but not make a sound unless something is really funny to her. Aunt Ashley, and Aunt Allison and Marmee got her to laugh one afternoon in Tyler while I was at coffee. Since then, she's been more willing to laugh. Today, while she sat in my lap, I was reading her a book about animal tails and I was making all the animal sounds. I quacked like a duck and she thought that was HILARIOUS. David and I spent the rest of the evening quacking. We make such fools of ourselves. Ha!

I think she knows now when she's the center of attention. She's starting to show off. (What this means, I'm not sure, but maybe I should be worried.) Last night, I wanted to see if some of her 6 month dresses would fit, so we had a fashion show of sorts. I put the dresses and outfits on her, then we went to the bathroom to look in the mirror, then to the living room to show Daddy. She LOVED looking at herself in her new clothes. She would smile so big and squeal and scrunch up on my shoulder. We might just have a little fashionista on our hands.

This is a random post. I just wanted to record how much more independent she's become in such a short time.

All of this goes to show me, yet again, that being a mommy is the most unpredictable job on this earth. If someone had told me 6 months ago that my baby wouldn't start sleeping through the night regularly until 5 months....well, I would have cried. And I did cry...many many times...But it's all been worth it to see her growing into her own independent person.

5 months

2011-07-18T07:15:00.000-07:00

Elysen , I absolutely cannot believe that you are 5 months old today. 5 months! How have 5 months gone by so quickly? You are getting to be such a big girl.

Weight: Probably between 15 and 16 lbs, according to our scale

Height: No idea, but I know you're getting taller because your clothes fit better and your dresses don't go down to your ankles. :)

Sizes: I have finally packed up most of your 3 month clothes. You still fit into the 3 month onesies, but they are looking a bit snug, so I moved you into the 6 month ones this week. It makes me sad to pack up those clothes.

You were still wearing a size 1 diaper until yesterday. You still fit in them, but they are getting snug too. So it's all size 2's for you now!

What you're up to:

- Your daddy took apart your swing this week. You are getting too big and you want to roll out of it, so it is going into storage until you have a brother or sister. You never really liked the swing all that much. It will be much sadder to me when you outgrow the bouncy seat (which is probably only about a week or so away...boo hoo).

Here you are asleep in your bouncy - but still holding onto your toys.

- You love to roll over all the time now. You always roll to the right onto your tummy, and sometimes from your tummy to your back. You have a harder time rolling to the left.

- The past week and a half has been amazing - you have become so much more independent. I finally know what it's like to have a baby who will play by herself for extended periods of time. I can put you on the floor on a blanket or mat and fold laundry or check email. You just lay there and talk to yourself and your toys.

- It's probably too soon to celebrate this, but in the middle of last week, you suddenly decided to start sleeping through the night! AHH!!! You have been taking a bath around 8, then your bottle before bed and sleeping until 6 or 7, or even 7:30....oh.my.gosh! I feel like a new person. Even if we still have a few setbacks, I have seen the light at the end of the tunnel.

- You have had a few bouts of fussiness in the last few weeks that we can only guess must be teething. And by fussiness, I mean screaming for no reason. You can usually be semi-soothed by a washcloth wrapped around a piece of ice. We also have some Baby Orajel that we use on occasion. You chew on everything in sight, and cover us all in drool. So far, no teeth, but your gums are bumpy where they will be. I really hope that we don't have a miserable time when your teeth start showing.

- This week, I stopped nursing you. I had thought about continuing until school started, but this week is really my last one at home with no school plans, so I thought we'd just go ahead. It was not a fun process for me, but you love your bottle, so you couldn't care less. Now that I'm through it, I feel fantastic. Nursing was stressful!

- You are such a little talker these days. You aren't just cooing anymore. You move your mouth and speak your own words (even though we can't understand them yet - ha!) and you have recently started blowing your lips together. It's pretty hilarious, especially when you blow your lips and end up spraying us all with spit or milk or food.

- Speaking of food...you are eating more than just bottles these days. Our pediatrician recommended starting rice cereal at 4 months. Well, you weren't thrilled. We tried it a few times and you SCREAMED. So we waited a few weeks. Now you eat cereal at least once a day, sometimes twice. We also tried some green beans a couple of days ago. You really don't like those at all - in fact, your whole body shivered all over every time you tasted them. Your daddy and I were cracking up.

*Update: Today (3 days later), I gave you green beans again and you LOVED them. You ate every bite at 2 different meals. You didn't want to finish your cereal, but you certainly liked the beans.*

- You like the car a little better now. We drove to Tyler a few weeks ago. It was the first time your daddy had gone with us. We took turns driving and sitting in the back with you. You didn't cry until about 20 minutes before we made it to Marmee and Grandad's! It was amazing! If I take you to town, you usually fuss. You just don't like it when you can't see people.

- You've started playing in your bouncy-saucer-thing (no idea what it's really called). You are still too short, so I have to prop you up with blankets. It makes you tired, but you like it for awhile. It won't be long until you're ready to sit up in it all by yourself.

- We moved you into your crib about a month ago. It was so hard on me at first. I didn't sleep for several nights. It was hard to have to walk across the house to get you for your middle-of-the-night feeding, but your daddy helped a lot. Now that you're sleeping better, we are all enjoying you having your own room.

- I have been working hard to learn my sewing machine. I made your blue dress that you're wearing in these pictures. I still don't have all the little details learned, but I'm getting so much better!

Elysen, you are such a sweet baby. You love to be held, and you love to smile at people you see. You also like to smile at Darsee and Remus, and pet their faces, if they let you. I can already tell that you will be such a loving person.

I could spend my days just sitting and playing with you. It's hard to get anything done. Every time I look in the mirror while I'm holding you, I see just how big you have gotten.

Precious girl, you are the light of our lives. We love you so very much.

She DID IT!!!

2011-06-28T19:30:00.001-07:00

After a lot of practice, Elysen finally rolled over this morning! Yesterday, she was grabbing my finger and pulling herself over, so I just knew it would be soon. Sure enough, I put her on her blanket this morning and after some effort and a toy held up to tempt her, she plopped right over onto her tummy. Of course, I went crazy and she looked at me like I was insane.

She was having a bit of a fussy morning so she wasn't content on the ground anymore after rolling over. So we got up and she ate. Then, we tried again, and this time, she made it look easy!

(This was after the fussy time, sorry for the tears and drool, but that's the reality of our life right now.)

All day long we practiced and practiced so that she could show Daddy when he got home. He was just as impressed as I was.

Now, Elysen will hardly stay on her back for 2 seconds. She loves being on her tummy so much more than her back. After every nap today, I put her on her back to say hi, and within 10 seconds, she was rolling over.

David could hardly keep her on the cabinet after bath time tonight....

I think we've created a monster. :)

Raindrops on roses are nice, but...

2011-06-27T08:51:00.000-07:00

My favorite things have changed over the last few months. For most of my life, one of my favorite things was sitting down with a book and reading all day long, stopping only for bathroom breaks and the occasional snack. I used to love shopping all day. I loved going out for a pedicure or massage. My favorite things have changed.

I barely have time to read anymore. Well, I guess that's not really true, but I choose to do other things in the time that I do have. Elysen has never been one to take a long nap (except that one glorious day when she slept for 3 hours in the afternoon), so during the 30-45 minutes I have while she naps, I usually get ready or clean up or sometimes just sit and enjoy the quiet.

We don't really do shopping yet. Last week was our first venture to the mall. It was hot as blazes outside and I was laughing at myself in the parking lot as I tried to wrestle the carrier (with baby inside) while attempting to get the stroller open. Then I had to get the diaper bag and my purse stowed away. Needless to say, I felt like a sweaty mess when I walked into the mall, not the peppy shopper of my past. Not to mention that it's difficult to maneuver around a store with a stroller. (P.S. I don't even want to think about how I'll manage someday with more than one child...)

I suppose I might go for a pedicure soon - my feet need it - but the practical side of me is winning over more and more these days. I don't really need to spend that money. If I'm going to spend money on unnecessary things, I'd rather they be unnecessary clothes or shoes for Elysen. (Little girls are WAY too much fun to dress up.)

So this post sounds a little depressing, right? I either don't have the time or the patience or the money to do what once were my favorite things. But, the great thing is, it's not sad at all. I have new favorite things.

1- Sitting outside with Elysen and watching the dogs play. She loves to be outside and she loves Darsee and Remus (and they love her).

2- Watching her learn by putting her hands out to touch everything within reach, i.e. my cup, the milk jug, her toys, and (my favorite) my face. She maintains a constant look of concentration while she explores.

3- Her "full face". She makes the most hilarious face when she's full. It is the look of perfect contentment. But I only get to see it when she nurses in the middle of the night (or in the morning) or right before bed when she finishes her bottle. I need to try to get a picture because it is my absolute favorite.

4- Kissing her sweet cheeks, and nose, and tummy, and head. Thank goodness that short spell of gross breath is long gone. She smells so sweet.

5- Rocking her - a new favorite. She finally decided that rocking is great. (I think this is mostly due to her grandmothers). I sing, and she lays her head on my shoulder. Her hair is getting longer now, and once or twice I've inhaled it and ended up having to scratch my nose or sneeze. Ha!

6- Laying in bed and realizing that it's light outside and I haven't had to get up with the baby yet. This one seems pretty self-explanatory. Let's just say her sleeping is getting better. Perhaps the days of waking up regularly at 3 or 4 a.m. are moving behind us.

7- Watching David with Elysen. I like that he's selfish with her attentions just like I am. I sometimes get worried that he's tired and wants me to take her, but he'll say, "Hey, why are you taking her? I haven't had my time yet."

So, my favorites have changed. The loss of freedom makes me a little sad sometimes, but most of the time, I don't miss it because my life is so full. God is good. Every night, I read my Bible on the iPad and have a time of prayer and thankfulness for all He has done. And I'm sure, after writing this, that I will spend the rest of the day not only thanking Him for my new favorite things, but also humming about "bright copper kettles, and warm woolen mittens". :)

4 months

2011-06-18T16:18:00.000-07:00

Elysen Ashleigh, you are 4 months old! I can't believe it! Each age is my new favorite because with each week that passes we see more and more of your personality.

Weight: Not sure, but 9 days ago, at your checkup, you were 12 lbs, 5 oz. So probably at or over 13 lbs. (25-30th percentile)

Height: 22.6 inches (again, this is from your checkup 9 days ago) (10-15th percentile)

Sizes: Your 3 month clothes fit you perfectly! You have a few 0-3 month things that you still wear, and some of your smaller 3-6 month clothes are starting to fit. You are wearing a size 1 diaper.

On a related note: We spent a couple of hours packing up your newborn and 0-3 month clothes this week. You are growing so fast! I was a little sad as I looked at all those teeny tiny clothes and put them into the storage box.

What you're up to:

- You LOVE going outside. If you are fussy, all we have to do is take you outside to visit Darsee and Remus or look at Daddy's garden, and you are happy. Several days this week, you and I have gone outside to sit in the shade for half an hour or so. You just sit in my lap and look around.

- You went through a major growth spurt this month. You were on the most wonderful schedule before we went to Texas last month. I was planning to move you to your room and out of our room because you were sleeping from 9 until 6. It was wonderful. Then, I was reminded, yet again, that motherhood is TOUGH. Once you hit that growth spurt, you threw that schedule out the window. You wanted to eat in the middle of the night again - usually around 4, but sometimes as early as 1 a.m. (AHHH!)

You were so fussy that they had to call me out of church one Sunday to get you. I took you to the dr. because I just knew you were sick, but they told me I just had a "fussy infant". How helpful.

This week, you have been my happy baby once again. I am so glad to have you back! :)

- Your eyes are getting more and more crystal blue. Everyone thinks they will stay blue - we'll see. They certainly don't look like the dark blue that eventually turns to brown, but who knows? Every time I take you out, at least one person comments on your pretty eyes or your pretty hair. You are such a beautiful girl, if I may say so myself.

- You haven't rolled over yet and sometimes I think you never will. We spend lots of time playing on the floor and I help you practice rolling over, but you have no interest whatsoever in doing it yourself. You either lay on your back and relax or lay on your stomach and look around.

- You had more time with the grandparents this month too. Your Marmee and Aunt Ashley came up to babysit while I had more training at school. And your ReeRee comes over at least once a week to play with you. I love when your grandmothers keep you - I have such peace of mind knowing they are with you, but I still have the freedom to get some things done!

- You LOVE to eat. You are still breast feeding, but you get at least 2 bottles a day - usually one 4-5 oz bottle around lunch and one 6 oz bottle before bed. You love to hold the hand of the person who is giving you the bottle or hold the bottle yourself. I think you want to make sure it's not going anywhere before you finish.

- You have recently starting talking a lot more. Sometimes, you will talk nonstop to whatever is around you. If we're at a restaurant, you talk to the people. If we're at home, you talk to the pictures on the wall. HA! You've also really laughed a couple of times. I can't wait for you to do this more.

- The doctor told us that we could try giving you some rice cereal. So far...you hate it. We have tried it several times, and each time, you scream. I am noticing that at least you recognize the feel of the spoon, though. You seem to understand that it means food. But you hate the spoon, and you just want your bottle. We'll keep trying.

- It's been so hot here that I decided we'd try "swimming". So I got your bathtub one day and filled it with cool water and we went outside to play. We then had to make another trip inside to get some warm water to add to the tub because you hated the cool water and started screaming. Once you liked the water temp, I think you had a great time.

- Tomorrow is Father's Day. It's your daddy's first time as a father. You got him some presents. He opened one tonight and the others he will open in the morning. Every day when he comes home from work, he gives you a big kiss and says that he can't believe how amazing you are. He loves you more than he can even say.

Well, sweet girl, you're growing up on us! I look in the mirror when I'm holding you and I can't believe how big you look. I cherish each day with you. Even when you are screaming, or your diaper makes me gag, or I feel like I haven't gotten out of the house in months, I would still rather be at home with you than anywhere else.

You are such a blessing, and I love you very much.

3 months!

2011-05-24T09:16:00.000-07:00

Baby girl, you are 3 months old! This post is almost a week late because we were in Texas all last week. I had to take your 3 month pictures a few days early.

Weight: At 3 1/2 months, you weigh 11 lbs, 12 oz!

Height: You won't sit still long enough to let us measure

Sizes: You are wearing all of your 0-3 month clothes and they fit you perfectly. I look at your 3-6 month outfits and can't believe that you will ever fit into them - they are HUGE on you.

You started wearing size 1 diapers to sleep in a couple of weeks ago and then, about a week before you turned 3 months old, you started wearing them all the time.

What you're up to:

- You have had a lot of firsts since the last post. You went to church for the first time on Easter Sunday. That was a stressful morning for me. Your daddy was driving the bus, but he came home and picked us up so that we could ride as a family. I was so worried that I would forget something, so I kept checking and rechecking your diaper bag. It was a rainy day, so I went to put your sweater on over your dress and it was too big. Anyway, all that to say - we didn't get a family picture on Easter morning. :( But we did have lots of fun. You were great in the nursery and perfect at the restaurant after church. Everyone "ooh"ed and "ahh"ed over you.

Since we didn't get Easter morning pictures, I waited until the next day and took some pictures of you with your Easter basket (even though your Daddy and I had eaten some of your candy). You got a special Easter bunny from Aunt Sarah and an Easter lamb in the mail from Marmee and Grandad.

- Another first - Mother's Day. This was a first for me more than for you. Daddy helped you and Darsee and Remus make a card for me. I cried when he gave it to me. It was so sweet. I love being your mom so much and this day was special because I got to celebrate motherhood.

There was a baby dedication at church on Mother's Day. We dedicated you to the Lord and promised Him that we would raise you according to His word. You got a Bible from the church to celebrate. I let you wear the dress you wore home from the hospital. It fits you so well now.

- You have gotten to spend some quality time with your ReeRee and Marmee this month. I had a training at school, so Marmee came up and babysat you for 3 whole days! I sure did miss you when I was at school. Your ReeRee comes over to babysit sometimes so that I can go to town or to the grocery store. She loves to sing to you.

- Last week, you and I went to Texas for some graduations! You still hate the car, so you cried a lot on the way down, but I can tell you're getting better. On the way back, you only fussed the whole time, not screamed. That was MUCH easier on your Mommy.

We went to Texas for your Aunt Allison's graduation from P.A. school on May 14th. We stayed with Allison and J.B. Friday night and then went to a brunch in her honor on Saturday morning. You and I didn't attend the ceremony (too long and boring), but we did go out to eat afterwards with the family.

Then, we had Aunt Ashley's high school graduation on May 20th. It was 10 years ago that I graduated from high school. I can't even believe how much has happened since then. You did a great job during the graduation. You slept and sat and then we fed you. You were so quiet! Everyone loved seeing you at the graduation, and you had lots of other visitors while we were in Texas.

- You are so much more aware these days. You love to sit in your bouncy seat and look at your toys. You have 2 favorites - the blue elephant on the bouncy and the zebra rattle someone gave you. You reach for them both and hold onto them. You also recognize Darsee and Remus. I took you outside the other day and you smiled at Remus who was sitting in the grass. It won't be long until you want to play with them.

- Your favorite non-human thing in the whole world is your bottle. It makes you so happy to eat from the bottle instead of breast feeding. I think you like how much faster the bottle is. We started out with just a bottle at night (4 oz) and you slept great for several weeks. Now I give you one 4 oz bottle of formula during the day around noon, and one at night that's 6 oz. I can't believe you want that much to eat! But when I give you only 4, you cry and cry. You're just so much hungrier at night.

- This month, you have loved to suck on your hand. You gag yourself all the time trying to fit your whole fist in your mouth. You won't take a paci unless you're really sleepy and we're holding you. But that's ok - as long as you don't start sucking your thumb.

- You are doing so well raising your head up when you're on your tummy. And you kick and stand up when we hold you. Today, I really thought you were going to roll over. You were almost there. I know it might take a little while, though, because you hate tummy time unless it's nap time. This was you after tummy time today.

I can already tell that your legs are stronger. If you take a nap in your crib, I find you in a completely different spot than when you went down. You just scoot around, so I know it won't be long until you realize that this can take you places.

- You started really talking on Saturday night. After your bath, you were laying on a towel and Aunt Allison was cooing to you. Suddenly, you decided you'd had enough of making short sounds and grunting. For the next 10 minutes, you "oooh"ed over and over again. I couldn't wait for your Daddy to see it when we got home and, sure enough, last night, you talked to him too! He was so excited.

- You still love your baths so much. You kick and kick - sometimes I think there won't be any water left in the tub! No matter how fussy you are, you almost always calm down as soon as you hear the water running.

- You like to sit in my lap now, and in your Daddy's lap. I've taken this opportunity to start reading books to you, and you like it as long as the books are colorful with lots of things for you to look at. I want you to love reading as much as I do, and I hope that we can start reading together every day.

You also like to watch the tv now. I guess this means that we're going to have to get some Baby Einstein videos for you because I don't think Grey's Anatomy is appropriate for a 3 month old. Haha.

Well, this has turned into a long post. But, sweet girl, you are changing so much every single day and I want to write it all down. You already do such funny things like smiling and being "bashful". Your personality is starting to come through, and I think you are just the most precious thing God ever created.

God has given us the greatest blessing and responsibility with you. You're amazing! I can't wait to do your 4 month post because I know that you'll be doing so many more fun things. I love you, Elysen Ashleigh.

2 Months

2011-04-19T20:34:00.000-07:00

Elysen, you are 2 months old! Yesterday was technically your 2 month birthday, but I wanted to wait to post today so that I would have your updated stats from your doctor visit.

Weight: 9 lbs, 10 oz (25th percentile)

Height: Almost 21 inches (10th percentile)

Sizes: You are still our petite girl. You still fit into a lot of your newborn clothes, but in onesies you are wearing 0-3 months. Some of your other 0-3 month clothes fit, but most are still pretty big on you. You are still wearing newborn diapers, and I think you will be for awhile - the size 1s are huge on you!

What you're up to:

- You are such a happy girl most of the time. You smile all the time and have started really trying to coo. Every time you wake up from a nap or finish a feeding (if you haven't dozed off) you just want to smile and stretch.

- One of your favorite places is your changing pad. I think you like it because you can stretch and kick, but you're closer to our level. Also, you're in your room, which you love.

- Your daddy turned 30 this month. We went out to Monte Ne to eat with the family, and you did so well. You slept the whole time.

- We went to Tyler for the first time last week. You got to meet lots of people, which stressed me out a little, but I think you enjoyed it. I know your Grandad, Marmee, Aunt Allison, Uncle JB, and Aunt Ashley loved seeing you.

One of your favorite things while we were in Tyler was to walk outside. It was the first time the weather was nice enough for us to really take you out into the yard, and you loved going out with your Grandad.

You even got to meet your great grandmothers while we were there.

With Granny

With Nana

- On a related note, you no longer like riding in your car seat. This made our trip pretty miserable, unfortunately. We aren't sure we're going to be able to go on vacation with the family in May because I can't handle a sad baby for 20 hours!

- You still love baths! This week, your daddy gave you a couple of baths in your tub, and you loved it. What fun.

- You had your first formula one night last week and it was a true blessing - you slept for such a long time! Now we give you a bottle every night before bed and you usually sleep for 6 or 7 hours before you're hungry again. Hallelujah!

- You had your 2 month doctor's visit today. You got a round of shots. :( You have been pretty sad all day, but we've done lots of holding you and letting you sleep in our arms.

With your Bugs Bunny band-aids from the dr's office

- This weekend will be your first time to go to church, and your first Easter! I can't wait to show you off.

Your daddy and I love you so much, baby girl. Every day he looks at you and says that he doesn't know how you can be so beautiful.

I pray for you every day. I pray that God will lead you towards His will for your life and that David and I will have the wisdom to be your parents. We are so blessed and so thankful to have you in our lives.

Precious girl

Look Who's "Talking"

2011-04-01T14:05:00.001-07:00

Reed must have inspired this girl because after hearing him talk all day Saturday, she started trying to coo that night. Now she's making little cooing sounds all the time - when she's happy. I put the little mirror from her play mat on her bouncy seat and yesterday, she sat in it for an hour just smiling, laughing, and cooing at herself.

She is 6 weeks old today and she's become a much better sleeper. The gassiness is all but gone, but now, she fusses when she's trying to fight sleep in the evening. She loves to nap during the day, but at night, sleep isn't nearly as fun. But once she's asleep, she stays that way for awhile. She only wakes up once from midnight until 7 or 8. We are glad to be getting longer periods of sleep and can't wait until those periods stretch into the 5 or 6 hour range.

Anyway, just wanted to post some new pictures and brag on our beautiful girl.

New Friends

2011-03-26T17:18:00.001-07:00

Today, we woke up and had a wonderful Saturday morning just hanging out at home.

Elysen has been more awake and alert this week, but most of her truly happy time is right after she wakes up and eats in the morning - a time that David is never home. I was so ready for today to come so that he could see her during her happy time. Sure enough, she spent lots of time in his lap smiling and trying to talk.

Crazy Saturday morning hair!

Then, we got the exciting news that the Scisms wanted to visit! We'd been trying to see each other for awhile, but conflicts and some cases of the sniffles had interfered. Brittany had been over a couple of times, but the Scism guys had stayed at home.

Needless to say, we were excited that everything finally worked out for Reed and Elysen to meet. Reed is a little over 4 months older than Elysen - which won't make any difference to them when they are older, but right now makes them seem so different. The Scisms stayed for awhile. Elysen slept and Reed played on his blanket, talked to us, and showed us his rolling-over skills.

Our attempts at a picture were only somewhat successful.

But the sweetest moment came at the end of their visit when Elysen started getting fussy and ready to eat. She was crying and Brit held Reed up to see her. He frowned for a minute, trying to figure her out, then reached out and grabbed her hand. He just held on to her hand and looked at her wondering why she was crying. I wish we had a picture, but it was just one of those unexpected things. I fully plan to remind them both of this day for years to come when they will be thoroughly embarrassed by it.

Thank you Scisms for coming to visit. You made our day wonderful.

1 Month

2011-03-18T18:12:00.001-07:00

Elysen, you are 1 month old today!

Weight: Approximately 8 and 1/2 lbs (that's the best we can measure with our imperfect scale)

*Update: At 5 weeks, you weighed 8 lbs, 6 oz*

Height: Your daddy says he measured and you were 20 and 1/2 inches, but again, it's not exact

Sizes: You are still wearing your newborn clothes, but some of them are starting to be a little tight. Your 0-3 month onesies are still a bit big.

You still wear newborn diapers, but they are looking a little tight as well.

What you're up to:

- You are sleeping better at night, but it's still touch-and-go. Some nights you only wake up to eat, and some you are awake for what seems like forever. We've started using some gas drops because you get lots of bubbles in your tummy and it makes you very upset.

- You like your baths. You took your first real bath this week (not a sponge bath) and you loved it - but you were so relaxed that you went to the bathroom and we had to take you out and start all over. You really love the end of your bath when we rub lotion on your feet and legs - you will probably love pedicures just like your mom!

Making faces in the mirror

You look so much older!

- You love your Baby Bjorn. If you get fussy during the day, I can put you in it and that's my time to get some things done since it's my only time to have both hands free. You always look around for awhile then fall asleep.

- You went to visit Daddy at work today for the first time. Everyone was SO thrilled to see you and hold you. We thought we might not get to take you home because everyone wanted to play with you. Your Arvest family loved getting to see you.

- Here are your 1 month pictures. I had a little trouble finding a way to help you sit up so first you ended up dancing...

...then you had to yawn...

...Then we took a break and I fed you. I had to include these pictures because you look soooo relaxed after your meal.

It's not perfect, but this one is my favorite. You are wearing a dress that your Uncle Dan and Aunt Janna got for you when they were here. You looked so big and, of course, incredibly beautiful.

I love you so much, my sweet baby girl. I can't believe we've gotten to have a whole miraculous month with you already.

2 weeks

2011-03-10T10:55:00.000-08:00

Elysen, this post is a little late, but here are your 2 week stats.

Weight: 7 lbs 8 oz (up 7 oz from your birth weight, and up a LOT from your 1 week appointment weight of 6 lbs 13 oz)

Height: 19 and 1/2 inches - They told us you grew from your 1 week appointment, but they must have measured you wrong in the hospital because they told us you were 19 and 3/4 inches when you were born.

Sizes: You are wearing your newborn clothes and newborn diapers. I LOVE seeing you wear the things I so meticulously prepared before you were here.

What you're up to:

- The last week, you have been really sucking on your fingers, and sometimes a pacifier. I even caught you sucking your thumb the other night - not good. :)

- You still have your hair. Your daddy keeps saying that he's hoping it won't fall out.

- Your face has certainly changed since you were born, but you still look just like your dad!

- We try to give you as much time to stretch in your bassinet as you can stand because you get very gassy at night and that means no sleep for anyone.

- Dr. Denton confirmed at your 2 week appointment that you have thrush. So we have to give you medicine 4 times a day - a pretty hilarious thing to watch, I must say. You don't mind the medicine, but you must think it tastes funny because you smack your lips and look around.

- You smile in your sleep and we just know you are about to start cooing because you already do it when you dream. It might be awhile, but you sure are trying to "talk".

- Your uncle Dan and aunt Janna got to see you for the first time a few days after you turned 2 weeks old. They loved holding you and kissing you. (Who wouldn't?)

We love you very much, Elysen Ashleigh. It's only a little over a week until you'll be a month old! I'll update again then.

Blessed

2011-03-09T07:46:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been a month since I posted last and whew, my life has changed in that month. Our baby girl was born on February 18!

I wanted to take a second to write down what a blessed pregnancy I had so that I don't forget to thank God for each of His blessings in my life.

David and I decided that we were ready to start a family in the late fall of 2009. We didn't actually start trying until the end of the year, but I was READY. I had been throwing out not-so-subtle hints for probably a year. *Blessing: My patient husband*

I expected that we'd be pregnant right away and having a baby in the fall of 2010.But as so often happens, my plans were not the Lord's. I worried and worried through the early months of 2010 thinking that something was wrong with me. I was having some irregularities that increased my fears. Every month was a disappointment. Through those months, God convicted me and worked on my heart. He reminded me of 1 Corinthians 13's reference to Faith, Hope, and Love. HOPE became my daily prayer. *Blessing: I learned to hope in Him, not in myself*

My doctor told me at an appointment in April that if we weren't pregnant by August, we'd start testing to determine what was going on. If ever I felt fear, it was that month. Suddenly, when you have a deadline, it makes things so much more urgent and scary. At the beginning of June, I packed up and trekked down to Russellville with Heather for a month of classes. *Blessing: Distraction in the form of graduate school*

On the last day of class, I woke up feeling sick. I'd been feeling gross for a few days and was convinced I had a cold and the drainage was making me nauseous. It was June 30 - our wedding anniversary. That day, as we packed up and left the apartment, Heather said "I hope you take a pregnancy test to celebrate your anniversary since you haven't been feeling great. Maybe this is it!" I had my doubts. That night, at almost midnight, David and I found out that we were going to be parents. The test turned positive immediately. *Blessing: We were going to Texas that weekend to see my family so we got to tell them the news!*

I went to the doctor for our first appointment and since we had trouble determining the due date, they wanted to do an ultrasound. David came with me a week later and we got to see our baby - who was already 10 weeks along! *Blessing: We got to have an ultrasound so early in the pregnancy - it gives such peace of mind*

I had about a month of morning sickness - strong nausea, but no vomiting. *Blessing: It was summer - I got to rest and relax, and by the time school started again, my sickness was all but gone; and Sarah was living with us, so she helped with cleaning since I wasn't feeling great*

I kept waiting and waiting to start looking pregnant, but (what a blessing) I stayed small until the last month or so of pregnancy. This made things so much easier for me when it came to getting work done and getting the nursery set up.

I wish I could list all of the blessings we had through the cards, gifts, and calls from family and friends, but that would take WAY too long to list. David and I have never known such a showering of love.

At 20 weeks, we got to see our baby again - and this time, we found out that it was a girl! *Blessings: A gifted ultrasound technician who knew what to look for; a baby girl who cooperated for the "camera"; and our friend Morgan who got to be with us when we found out.* That weekend, we went to Texas again so we got to tell our families in person.

The holidays flew by, and I knew that as soon as Christmas was over, I would have NO TIME to get things done before the baby came. David and I had really been discussing names and we settled on Elysen. Then after talking to Sarah one night, Elysen Ashleigh was our final choice. *Blessing (and miracle): David and I agreed on a name!*

I was really concerned that I wouldn't have time for my grad school classes in the spring semester, but it's my last semester, and I want to finish on time. So I signed up for the classes even though I was worried about fitting everything in. *Blessing: God took away my worry and provided 2 weeks of snow days in early February so that I could work on school and finish the nursery*

My prayers from day 1 of this journey were that Elysen would be a healthy baby and that God would give David and myself the wisdom to parent her. My only selfish want was that I would deliver her on my own without needing to be induced. The week of February 10, I started having contractions. These were more than just the Braxton Hicks that I'd been feeling for months, but they weren't regular or really painful, so we waited. At our 37 week appointment, I was already at 2 cm and 80% effaced. Dr. Birch told me that she didn't think we'd make it to 39 weeks. This was SUCH a blessing because the planner in me really needed a timeline for when to expect our baby. I knew what I needed to get done at school and had plenty of time to plan with my substitute. God knew that I needed to be able to prepare mentally, emotionally, and physically (cleaning the house) for our new arrival.

The week before Elysen's arrival was also an amazing time for David and I. Knowing this would be the last time for awhile, we spent lots of time being alone together. We watched movies and I baked cookies. By this time, the nursery was ready to go (Blessing #14: A mom who sews - she made the crib bedding and curtains). David cooked stuffed salmon for me on Valentine's Day, yet again showing me how blessed I am to be married to him.

Then, on the morning of February 18, I woke up at 3:30 cramping. At 4:30, I woke up again with cramps. At 5:30, when I was awakened yet again, I thought, "Wait a minute, these are coming in waves. Maybe they aren't cramps." I got up and went to lay on the couch (I hadn't been sleeping really well for a couple of weeks anyway - see the Snoring and Spouses post) and began timing - 8 MINUTES APART. Immediately, I texted my mom, who I assumed was asleep, but about 30 seconds later, my phone rang. After I described what I was feeling (I was still uncertain at this point), Mom said, "I think this is it - we're coming!" *Blessing: For a week, my mom had been saying that she was worried they wouldn't make it in time - I'd been in pre-labor for so long and they had a 6 hour drive. But they were able to make it in plenty of time.*

I had a scheduled doctor's appointment that morning (I was exactly 38 and 1/2 weeks), so I decided that we should probably take our hospital bags to the appointment with us. *Blessing: I had plenty of time to take a shower, wash my hair, and get everything packed up - anyone who knows me knows that this was very important to me.*

I woke David up at 6:30 and told him that I was getting ready and that I was pretty sure I was in labor. We called the doctor and they said to come on in to the office. As soon as Dr. Birch checked me (4-5 cm, and 100% effaced), she said to go upstairs to Labor and Delivery! Hooray!!

We checked in upstairs, the nurses hooked me up to all the machines, and within a couple of hours, I had my epidural (Blessing - Epidurals = wonderful). By this time, it was about noon, and my family arrived! *Blessing: Allison got to leave work early (about 12) so she and JB could come to Fayetteville that night*

A few hours later, I started feeling ready to push. The epidural did slow down my contractions a little, so they had to give me some Pitocin, but overall, everything went so quickly. Dr. Birch said my contractions looked like nothing, but they were really working! (This meant that I wasn't feeling a lot of pain even before the epidural - what a blessing).

I pushed for an hour. Elysen was being very stubborn because the cord was around her neck. But I was blessed to have a wise doctor who knew what to do and took care of the problem. David gave me so much encouragement (and ice chips - I was incredibly thirsty), but I was getting very tired after an hour. Then, God blessed me in a very strange way - He made me sick. I started throwing up from the exertion of pushing which contracted my muscles and helped push Elysen almost all the way out! Before I knew it, she was laying on my chest looking at me. She was born at 5:15 p.m. and weighed 7 pounds, 1 oz.

The next few hours were the only bad time we had through the entire process. Elysen had a lot of fluid in her lungs - more than most babies. Her cries were gurgles and she sounded like she couldn't breathe. I got to see her for a bit, but then the nurses took her to the nursery so they could really suction her lungs and eventually put her on oxygen. Even though this was a horrible time, and my family was so worried, God blessed me by sparing me from the worry. Because I couldn't leave the hospital bed, I didn't ever have to see my baby hooked up to the tubes. David and the rest of our family and friends were prayer warriors during this time. I believe that there were probably so many people praying for her that I will never know about.

That evening, the pediatrician came in and told us that he was going to lower her oxygen level. She was starting to improve. Within a couple of hours, they were able to take out all the tubes and give her a bath. Then, around 1 a.m., I finally got to see her again and hold her and try to feed her.

We stayed in the hospital until Sunday morning. By the time we went home, she was already such a great eater! This was a blessing since I'd been worried about breast feeding.

My mom stayed with us for 2 and 1/2 weeks after she was born so that I could get some rest and start to get into a schedule (and so that David wouldn't starve, haha). This was an extraordinary blessing for our whole family.

I'm sure that no one will ever read this except for me. I know that it's long and pretty boring, but I wanted so badly to take the time to write down the ways I saw God's hand over the last 9 months. He has blessed us beyond anything we could have hoped. Elysen is the most perfect baby I've ever seen. She's beautiful and she looks just like her dad. :) May I never ever forget how rich the Lord has made us through His great work in our lives and this pregnancy was no exception.

Snow, Snoring, and Spouses

2011-02-10T10:22:00.000-08:00

Well, the last month has been an interesting one, to say the least. At the end of January/first week of February, we had our first serious snow and ice of the season.

This 5"-8" kept us out of school for 4 days during which I worked hard to finish the nursery.

She already has SO many clothes thanks to hand-me-downs from some sweet girls.

The crib

The bow holder I made to hold the first batch of bows. If she's anything like her mom and aunt, this will not come close to holding all the bows we'll have.

There were times I didn't think I'd ever get it done. It was pretty stressful getting everything organized when I don't have a clue how I will need things arranged for convenience, etc. Overall, David and I are very pleased with how it turned out. I know that there were probably times people looked at my fabric choices and thought, "What is this going to look like??" but it all turned out just like I wanted.

There are still a couple of things to add to the walls for decor, but those aren't urgent, of course.

Then, this week, we ended up with MORE SNOW! They predicted another 5"-8" for Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. We ended up with almost 20" of snow! It was absolutely crazy. I have never seen so much snow other than when I've been skiing. So I was in school 1 day last week and 1 day this week. Sadly, I haven't gotten as much work done this break because of a very nasty head cold. David even got to stay home part of 1 day because the bank closed early. Even the Wal-Mart store near us closed! THAT is unbelievable.

The dog bowl looks like an ice-fishing hole!

This morning it was -14 degrees when we woke up! That is WAY too cold for me to even stick my head outside, but it sure made the trees look beautiful.

At 37 weeks, the snow days are certainly welcome rest days. I am not sleeping very well at night in the last week or so, but it has nothing to do with the typical symptoms of pregnancy, aka discomfort, pain, contractions, bathroom trips, etc. Mainly, it has to do with my stopped up nose from this cold. I have been snoring really badly for the last month or so. How.....attractive. I have been so surprised that I'm still moving around comfortably this late in the pregnancy, if only I could stay well, I know I'd be getting so much done.

But back to the horrible snoring. I would like to take this moment to chronicle the way my husband has been during the last 9 months. He has been the best husband on the face of this earth. When I was had morning sickness this summer, he was so understanding of the fact that, not only could I not eat, I couldn't cook either. He never once complained.

When I hit the phase of being sooooo tired all the time, he was always so sweet when he came home from work and I was napping on the couch instead of...oh, I don't know...making sure that dinner wasn't burning. (That was not a happy night for me).

He has helped me do dishes and laundry and vacuuming just because he knew I felt tired or my back was sore. He loves talking to Elysen and watching her move. He says, "I just can't believe it. I can't believe she's in there!" And now that the horrible snoring has started, he has tolerated even that. I know it must be worse than he's telling me, and I know that he's probably not getting a lot of uninterrupted sleep, but he never complains. I feel so blessed to be married to such an amazing man. Never has God's choice for my husband been more obviously perfect than right now. He is going to be the best dad to our baby girl. So if there is anyone out there still reading this mush-fest, I just want to summarize by saying that David Savage gets the most amazing husband award today and always.

My handsome husband

28

2010-12-16T14:19:00.000-08:00

This year, my birthday/Christmas list says a lot about my life right now. Usually, I ask for an assortment of clothes, gift cards and jewelry, but this year is a little different. Here's what my list says about me:

- Someone to write grad papers and take an administrative law test for me: "HEEEELP." (Actually, this wasn't on my list, and now that the semester is over, I can laugh about it. I honestly considered asking/bribing/paying lots of cash to someone to do all that work for me.)

- A steam cleaner for my carpet: "I'm in nesting mode, but bending down to scrub spots off of my shows-every-tiny-spot carpet is not in the cards right now." (How do those spots even get there in the FIRST PLACE???)

- Cute flats/Toms: "I will be sad if I get a really cute pair of heels and can't wear them for more than an hour without getting swollen feet or losing my balance and falling over."

- LOTS of books (this is not an out-of-the-ordinary gift request for me, however, perhaps I should share my list):

Knuffle Bunny is my absolute favorite. In fact, on our first date, David took me to Barnes and Noble (lots of brownie points for that one) and I showed him this book.

How could you not like this book? It's about a pigeon....driving....a bus.

Such a beautiful book.

I'll admit, I don't know a lot about this one. But I found it and fell in love with the illustrations (the dog looks like Remus) and the name. The title makes me laugh every time I say it!

So that's my list. It certainly has a different feel to it than my lists in years past. However, I will say what I've said to David for the last week. It means more to me to be done with the hardest semester of grad school that I've ever had to endure, to have a job that I love, to be healthy and surprisingly comfortable for almost 7 months pregnant, to have a freshly-painted room for Elysen that is filling up quickly with gifts from friends, to have my 2 sweet dogs who are so happy to see me every minute of every day, and to have my greater-than-great, sweeter-than-sweet husband who I love so very much. I am far happier this year on my 28th birthday than I have been on any birthday before, and far happier than any list of presents could make me.

"My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God, my Savior, for the Mighty One has done great things for me - holy is His name." (Luke 1:46-47, 49)

You and Me

2010-12-08T17:17:00.000-08:00

Elysen,

Two nights ago, you made your mother very sick for the third time just because you didn't like something I ate before bedtime. I am making a mental note that sugary things apparently give you (and me) an upset tummy when it's close to bed. On those nights, I wake up and you are bouncing around like crazy. I almost woke up David just so he could see my belly moving around, but since it was 2:45, I figured I'd let him sleep.

You move all the time. In fact, Dr. Birch had a hard time catching up with you at our last appointment to get a measure on your heartbeat. It's the most amazing thing. I don't think I really understood that I was pregnant until I felt you move and kick. From that moment, the other things I'm busy with (grad school, teaching, evaluating teachers) seemed to become less and less important to me. You already have spunk and spirit, and I love that about you. We know several couples who have recently suffered miscarriages, so feeling you move will never be something I take for granted even if it wakes me up. I know it's the thing I'll miss the most about being pregnant with you.

Every night I pray that God will give David and I the wisdom to be your parents. We know that this is a difficult world in which to raise a Godly young lady, but we also know that He will guide us if we keep our eyes on Him. We talk about you every night before bed - wondering what you'll look like (I can already tell from the sonogram that you have such a pretty profile) and what your personality will be.

The house is changing! We are busy getting your room ready. My mom is making some beautiful crib bumpers for you out of some fabric that I painstakingly picked. And, of course, it's December now so we've decorated everything for Christmas. This is my favorite time of year, and I'm usually sad when it ends, but this year, I have you to look forward to! February is coming so fast, and I know I won't be able to believe it when it's finally here.

Right now, I am just loving the fact that you are my Elysen - no one else gets to carry you, no one else gets to feel you squirm (though lots of family has felt you kick), no one else gets this amazing miracle. It's just you and me right now, and I love you with all of my heart.

It's a Girl!

2010-10-29T08:39:00.000-07:00

About 3 weeks ago, David and I went to my 20 week sonogram appointment. Our number one prayer was that the baby would be healthy and everything would look normal. My second greatest prayer was that the baby would cooperate so that we could see what he/she was!

My intuition from day 1 of this pregnancy had been that the baby was a girl. And several people shared that feeling based on the way I'm carrying her. Even David started saying, "It's a girl", a couple of days before the appointment.

Our technician was so kind, and one of David's friends from work has a wife who works at the Breast Center, so we invited her into the room as well. So the baby had a whole crowd cheering her on. Because we were so blessed to have a healthy baby, it was SUCH a fun appointment.

The first few minutes, the technician said, "Well, I don't see anything that indicates that it's a boy" - but that was not good enough for me. I wanted to be SURE before we started buying dresses and pink bows. :)

So proper with her pinky up.

Thankfully, we ended up getting a great view - or, at least, that's what the technician told us, I couldn't tell what we were looking at. So we know for sure - it's a girl! I was worried that David might be disappointed, but the second that someone at work brought him a camo onesie with lace collar, I'm pretty sure he was hooked.

David's clothing choice....

My clothing choices.

So the next huge step for our family was the one I've been worried about since we first decided to start trying for a baby - names. It would be a gross understatement to say that David and I have different opinions on names. We made ourselves wait to even talk about names until we knew the baby's sex - then at least that would narrow our choices by 50%. Still, it was a difficult process with many nights spent reading through name books and saying "Do you like this?" only to be met with a strong NO.

A few weeks ago, we started talking about incorporating family names into the baby's name. Above all, I wanted her name to have a story behind it, instead of "Well, we just flipped through a book and picked that one". So, after a lot of discussion, and playing with combinations, we decided on a name that we both love.

Elysen Ashleigh Savage

Her first name is a combination of my sister's names - Allison and Elise (Ash's middle name). Her middle name is a combination of Sarah's middle name (Ashley) and my middle name (Leigh).

I'm so proud of this name. It's elegant and ladylike, but unique and special to our family. She is named after 3 of the best women I know. My hope for my baby girl is that she has the patient heart of her aunt Sarah, the strength of her aunt Allison, and the easy, fun-loving spirit of her aunt Ashley. An added bonus - according to our name book, Elysen is a feminine form of Elijah, which means "The Lord is my God".

David and I are so thankful to our God for blessing us with Baby Elysen. We can't wait to meet her! Here is another picture of our sweet girl.

This one's my favorite because I feel like I can tell just a little bit what she might look like. I love her nose.

Add It to the List...

2010-09-11T15:48:00.000-07:00

Today is September 11 - 9 years since the day I was sitting in my World Civilizations class at OBU as a brand new freshman and heard the news that America had been attacked. I'd been in school for less than a month. There was not another day that I wanted to be back in Tyler more than that one. What a day.

My professor said he couldn't teach with things like that going on, so I went back to my dorm room to watch tv. I had visions of draft reinstatement and world war that didn't amount to much, but I have never felt the world change more clearly or quickly than in those hours watching tv. We had a campus-wide chapel to pray for our nation and our President, but mainly, I think we all just needed to be together for support.

Even today, as I was driving to town and saw flags at half mast, I felt some tears come to my eyes. September 11, 2001 will always be a day that is strongly tied to emotion for me and everyone who remembers it. (Of course, that's probably multiplied today by pregnancy hormones.) I don't think anyone really will read this besides me, but thank you to every person out there who's serving or has served our country. This day always makes me particularly grateful.

On a slightly lighter note, my crazy husband decided to fly today of all days on a "bucket list" sort of adventure. He left early this morning with Billy to fly to Amarillo, TX. Now, why would anyone randomly fly to Amarillo, you ask? Well, I'll tell you why : steak. BIG steak.

David and Billy flew to Amarillo to take on the Big Texan's 72 oz. steak challenge. In 1 hour, they tried to eat a steak the size of a barn, a potato, roll, salad, and 3 shrimp.

I am sad to report, neither of them succeeded. But that wasn't really the point, I suppose. After David returns and reports his feat of eating 44.8 oz of steak and some sides in a single sitting, it will become another "Remember that time when...." story for the 2 of them to laugh about. Just another thing to add to the list of quirks that make me love my husband so very much. Who else flies to Amarillo for a $72 "I attempted to eat the 72 oz steak" t-shirt (aka, meal payment for not finishing) and a bellyache?

(The moment of defeat)

It's Been Awhile

2010-08-19T17:17:00.000-07:00

2 months since my last post. That's bad.

What have I been doing all this time??? Well, first there was school, then there was sickness, then there was exhaustion, then there was more school. I am sensing a trend.

After a month in Russellville working hard on my last summer of grad school (only 3 more classes to go!), I was more than worn out when David picked me up on our anniversary to move me home. Not only was I tired, I didn't feel very good either, I was nauseous and felt feverish. That night, I took a pregnancy test (for the heck of it). I always thought I'd have this "feeling" when I was pregnant, a sixth sense about what was happening in my body. Well, I had NO IDEA. Now that I've been feeling it for many weeks, I would know the feeling if it happened again, but there was no intuition happening here.

Now I'm 13 weeks along and feeling much better. The sickness is slowly wearing off. It only comes periodically now. It's strange to know that you have a baby inside, but not be able to see it or feel it. But I'm not rushing my belly to grow...after all, I'll have plenty of time to "enjoy" it once it's here. I know February 28th will be here soon enough. :)

David is extremely sweet and supportive. He picks up things at the store that have been tasting good to me, and hopes that they are still tasting good when he brings them home. I am very sensitive to smells, and have lost many an appetite due to unfriendly aromas.

We are enjoying this new change in our lives, while still going on with things as they have always been - I started back to school today. My students were excited to hear the news and wanted to ask all kinds of questions like if we got pregnant "on purpose". (In their defense, I guess most of the pregnancies they see are accidental.)

I am trying to keep a journal of my experience that the baby can read/laugh at some day...well, if it's a girl, she probably will. I doubt a boy would be too interested in reading it.

For now, I'm just as happy as can be, and feeling blessed every single day.

I will leave this post with a picture of our sweet "Bluebud" (David's came up with that one).

Things that make you go.....hmmm....

2010-06-03T15:21:00.000-07:00

It's been forever since I've posted on here. Why? Well, mainly because I haven't had much to say lately. This semester has flown by and I have been busy to the level of insanity.

Today's post is about a lesson learned, and all the good reflection it has sparked over my 5 years of teaching. One of my suite-mates from college, and a fellow education major, Emily (see her pretty picture below and in previous posts) reopened this wound earlier today with her own blog post. So I thought I might join in the walk down memory lane.

(Emily and Harper - not Miles)

The story begins with a class that Emily and I had to take to complete our education major: Educational Technology. Now, I have taken Ed Tech classes since then that are what I consider...oh....educational....and technological. This class was neither.

We learned PowerPoint. We learned how to turn on an overhead projector and then how to properly turn it off (it's an art, really). We learned how to oh so carefully change the slides in a slide reel. Seriously...a slide reel - this was a class taken after the year 1990, just to clarify.

Anyway, I digress. Emily pulled out a scratch piece of paper one day during class and we started writing notes back and forth. The topic of the note mainly centered on how bored we were, and how we couldn't wait to get out of class. I didn't think about it again when we left class and headed to the rest of our day.

Then, I was sitting in my next class when a teacher's assistant came and asked me to stop by my Ed Tech professor's office after class.......what?

I started thinking about how she probably wanted to thank me for doing a great job with changing slides or something, and took off towards our classroom when my current class was over.

As I bounced into my professor's office, something told me - TURN BACK, DON'T GO INSIDE. The something that told me this was the look on my professor's face, and the matching look on Emily's face when I saw her sitting right inside the office. Oh. Dear.

To make a long story short, our note almost forced this lady into early retirement. Emily had written something along the lines of "This class is for retards". I, of course, do not condone the use of this word in any derogatory manner, and neither does Emily, but we were stupid college kids writing a note in class. However, from the tears streaking down the face of the professor, she took this note VERY personally. She launched into a tirade about our insult to her teaching and about how she just "could not handle this right now" because of "issues" in her personal life (there were specifics mentioned - funeral preparations, mother-in-laws - I don't even remember). We sincerely apologized to this woman over and over and OVER again for the next hour, and left her office feeling like the worst people on earth.

So why am I sharing this lowest of the low moment for all to read? I'm telling it because at the time, even though I felt bad, I knew that something was wrong. I wasn't a teacher yet, so I didn't know what it felt like to have a room full of kids waiting to be entertained (pretty intimidating). But at the same time, I vowed that I would never let this happen to me - my personal life needed to stay as far away from my job as possible.

Thanks to that professor, I have kept this promise. I've had 17 year old kids say some bad things to me - ranging from the perverse to the flat out rude (see: "Mrs. Savage, don't be offended by this but have you gained weight?"). But I have kept my promise to myself, and to Emily. I might have shed a few tears from day to day in my career, but never EVER in front of my kids. If one my my students hurts my feelings, I talk to them and help them to see how this behavior is not one that works for them. I keep my emotions to myself...even if I'm having a bad day.....even if I'm mad at something David did.....even if I was feeling particularly fat at that moment, thank you very much.

My students are a great blessing to me. My stupidity and that professor's poor handling of the situation ruined any tiny amount of potential for a healthy teacher/student relationship. And any chance of me learning from her ended that day. We were completely in the wrong, but we still lost all respect for her.

Now, I'm stepping down from my tiny soapbox to say one final thing: teaching is the most rewarding career on earth. Whether you teach little ones who need help blowing noses or big ones who need help finishing Algebra, you're going to go home at the end of the day exhausted but fulfilled. My call into the "principal's office" of college showed me one thing: life is WAY too short to take things personally in the classroom.

Hope

2009-12-03T14:12:00.000-08:00

"Now these remain: faith, HOPE, and love, but the greatest of these is love."

I memorized that verse in elementary school for a speaking competition at the school, but it wasn't until a few days ago that I thought about the word in the middle of those three.

We talk about faith a lot as believers. Faith is believing, and trusting, even when you can't see. Faith is what we profess when we show the world He saved us. Faith is very important.

Love is...well, I can't say it better than Paul did....it's the greatest. It's the reason we're even allowed to have faith. "Behold what manner of love the Father has given unto us." We are loved.

But it's not often that I've stopped to think about hope. When I was dating David, I knew that we would someday be here. I had faith that God had shown me His will for my life. I don't think I did a very good job of hoping for David. I didn't let God give me the peace that He will give along with the calm, trusting desire of hope.

After years of hearing people say, "Don't get your hopes up", I have come to view hope as something I don't deserve. That's not what God wants for me. I felt Him say this clearly to me as I drove home the other day. I stopped and thought, "Why NOT hope?" Hope is from God. Hope is trust in Him that what desires He has placed in my heart will come to their fruition. Hope is powerful.

I know that it's not all about what we want, or what we think we need, and that's not what I mean by hope. But I've realized that it's ok to hope with all my heart for the things that I pray to my Father about, as long as it's also a humble hope, and a trusting hope in His will.

Today I will make the choice to simply and unabashedly......hope.

Update

2009-11-24T07:36:00.000-08:00

So apparently I am an awful blogger. I mean, it has been August since I last posted. In the words of Charlie Brown, "Good grief."Since my last post, school has started, and I've been so busy running here and there to keep up. Last year, Heather and I decided to apply to be Learning Coaches for the Arkansas Leadership Academy's Teacher Institute. We went through the program as participants last year and loved it so much. In September, I made the trek up to Petit Jean Mountain (spec the Winthrop Rockefeller Institute) for a half-week of coaching teachers. It has been such a joy to my life. If I could do this for a living, I would. I know it's not ideal since it takes me away from home so often, but I love helping teachers discover what good teaching looks like.My group of teachers are precious. They are so eager to learn and they wholeheartedly adhere to the process of the academy. They are my reason for returning. Who knew that the field of teaching would go from being so independent to being so collaborative. (Of course, it certainly has taken awhile to get there.)

Moving on so as not to bore those of you reading this (I could talk about teaching forever), I have a new job this year. I'm working half of my days in the library. So far that has meant a million hours of back-breaking work for yours truly. First, I decided to reshelve all of our fiction section because I was tired of having to explain it to students. I mean, the fiction section of all things should be user friendly. Then, I decided to paint....the whole library....by myself. Yikes. Thankfully I have had helpful students who have assisted me, otherwise, I'd be in there until next November. We hope to have a mural on the walls by the end of the year and I am SO

excited about it. You know how sometimes you can have this great vision in your head but no one else can see it? Well, I have that vision of what the finished product will look like, but I don't think anyone else sees it yet. I just pray it turns out like I think it will.

On the home front, I am right now seated beside the two most precious pups in the world. They just ate breakfast awhile ago so Remus is burping periodically then looking at me

apologetically. He's such a lover, all he ever wants to do is snuggle (mostly with David, not me). Darsee is napping too. She's my smart one who figured out how to get some Chick-fil-a Saturday out of the trash bag. I can't say I blame her, we love Chick-fil-a that much in this family.

It's Thanksgiving week! Tomorrow we leave for Tyler!!! I can't even say how very excited I am about this. This is our first year to spend Thanksgiving with my family since we've been married. And to top it all off...this afternoon I am going to see "New Moon" with Brittany. Emery thanked me for going so that he doesn't have to...hehe. David actually offered to go see it with me, but I think that's just cruel. So we're having a girls' afternoon. I NEED ONE!

In honor of Thanksgiving, I would like to raise my thanks to God for the following things:

my family (Mom, Dad, Allison, Ash, JB, Rita, Jones, Sarah, Dan, and Janna), my precious pups who make me smile all the time, my three classes of 11th grade students - they bring light to my life, all of my friends who live in other places (see previous post), all of my friends who live here, and most importantly, my best friend who loves me unconditionally (and even watched "The Proposal" with me last night") - David

Give thanks with a grateful heart. I know I do.

Audra

Cracking Under Pressure

2009-08-07T21:28:00.000-07:00

Ok, so it's not as serious as it sounds. I don't really have lots of pressure to be cracking under yet...ask me again in a month and my answer may change. I'm just giving in to the peer pressure to put pictures up on my blog.

Yesterday/today I got to have the BEST time with friends! Last night, Lesley drove in from Missouri so I headed over to Brittany's house after Bunco to see Les and her sweet baby Hannah. As if that wasn't enough fun, we stayed up until 2 a.m. talking - just like old times in the OBU dorms! (Hannah did not participate in the late night talk.) :) Then today, after a meeting at school, I headed to Rick's for lunch with Lesley and Hannah, Brittany, Christen, Emily and Miles, and Kelly and Harper! It was quite the crowd!

(Emily, Brittany, Christen, Lesley with Hannah, and me!)

This was my first time to meet Miles and Harper (and Hannah the night before). It was such a blessing to me to see all these babies that have been the subject of so many of my fervent prayers.

We had a wonderful time laughing and talking...and laughing.

(Kelly with Harper and Emily with Miles - Sorry, Miles...it's a weird picture, but I had to put it because Harper was SO

loving her new friend.)

These friends are some of my most precious even though some live too far away. Come back soon Emily and Lesley and we'll have more fun lunches!!!

(Miles and Emily, me with Hannah)

Long time...

2009-05-27T19:35:00.000-07:00

It's been a month since I last blogged! Clearly this is a busy time of year. This year is different for me than others.

Usually, this time of year, I'd be relishing every last moment with those students who I love so much that I will miss terribly next year. I'd be planning finals, but taking it easy with the students. I'd be feeling butterflies of excitement in anticipation of summer.

THIS year, I am still cherishing my students. This has been the best class I've ever had. I have been so blessed by each and every one of them. And even on the rough days, I've been thankful for them. I have also been pretty tough on them and I hope they look back someday and remember me with happiness. However, there is no rest for the weary. I have zero excitement about the end of school because the last day of school for the kids is the first day of school for me. Next Thursday, I'll be in Russellville starting class and living in a bare-bones apartment with Heather.

The craziness from this is unbelievable. Giving finals early has helped me out a little. The kids are being great to help me get things together for the end of the year. But I just don't feel like I can get everything done! I worked ALL DAY LONG on things while the students were reviewing and I felt like I was just spinning my wheels.

Thank goodness for coming home at night. David and the dogs give me such joy. Combined with the peace that passes all understanding, I am a happy (but tired) woman.

Tonight I made brownies for David and peach jam for myself. The very act of standing over the stove stirring the most beautiful peach-colored liquid until it thickened was so relaxing. (Not to mention the fact that it made a pretty darn good jam!)

Now I think I will go and take a nice bath before bed. Tomorrow is the day to worry about unloading the dishes, finishing my paper, creating a presentation for class, and making a list of all the things I need to take with me to the apartment.

May you all be looking forward to June more than I am! :)

A Mother's Love

2009-03-25T19:52:00.000-07:00

There are few things that are as exciting to me as visitors from home. And guess what? We're getting some this weekend! My parents are coming up this weekend for David's deacon ordination. I'm so proud of my hubby for being such an amazing man of God. He amazes me.

Right now, even the thoughts of how much I have to clean up dust and dog hair are nothing compared to the fact that my Mom and Dad will be here to have fun with us. Mom loves to see her "grand-puppies" and of course Darsee and Remus love visitors so it works out all around.

Today I made a huge batch of chicken salad for them and David to munch on when we're at the house. I also have to make a cake for a party. I've picked out a really nice recipe, so I hope all goes as planned.

All in all, this is shaping up to be a weekend of fun!

I Made It!

2009-03-21T09:37:00.000-07:00

Well, we survived skiing. New Mexico was beautiful. I'll put pictures up on Facebook.

Dan proposed to Janna and her parents came to surprise her. It was so sweet. We had a blast hanging out with them. Sarah also brought Brent which made it even more fun and exciting. There were so many people in the lodge that I felt a little overwhelmed at times, I'll admit. I think we all did. David's cousin Rachel brought her 3 little boys and they added a certain element of craziness to the week. Also, David's Aunt Ruth came with her 2 foreign exchange students, Up and Virginia. They made me laugh because they'd never been anywhere like New Mexico (Up is from Thailand and Virginia is from Ecuador). They had never seen any snow!

Sadly, after surviving 2 days of skiing, I ended up getting sick on the evening after our last skiing day. I had fever and chills the whole way home and all day yesterday. That's certainly no fun. But it seems that I am now close to being completely well...Just in time to go back to school...:(

Spring Break Begins!

2009-03-14T11:12:00.000-07:00

Now, if only it felt like spring outside. Instead it's rainy and chilly. I'm not feeling super, so I'm trying to rest a little while preparing for...(drumroll, please)...our trip to New Mexico tomorrow! David went to town this morning for a gun show (I will never understand), and he dropped by Wal-Mart on the way home to pick up snacks for tomorrow. Now that he's home, I think the official preparation will begin. I'm about halfway packed.

Right now, I am watching one of my favorite shows with the pups. Don't ask me why I'm so fascinated by "18 Kids and Counting", but something about a family with 18 kids has the ability to seriously hold my interest. I admire the fact that TLC has so many shows with parents who uphold strong beliefs in Christianity and morality. It's refreshing to see.

Ok, it's time to admit to the fact that I have a trip tomorrow. All my ski gear is going to eventually be packed into the suitcase (it's all so poofy). I also have a batch of cookies to make, 2 presents to wrap, and a birthday present to find. Wish me happy skiing!

There's A Little "Sex and the City" In All Of Us

2009-03-09T14:58:00.001-07:00

Today, as I was running the 3 miles I'd set for myself (did I mention I did over 5 on Saturday!?!), I laughed as I started thinking about "Sex and the City". That might seem like a bizarre thing to think about while exercising, but here's why. I was reminded of Miranda on the episode where she has her baby, Brady. She tells Carrie to make sure that the nurses aren't being "too cheerful and encouraging" because that makes her really angry. I realized today that I am like this about exercise. It takes all of my patience and strength to do those workout dvds because I hate those people who keep saying "You can do it!" or "Keep it up!" AHH!!! So, enough of the encouragement, it's more encouraging for me just to say to myself, "Let's get this over with!" I think I'd respond well to those trainers on "The Biggest Loser" who just yell at the people when they aren't working out.

So that's Miranda. I emulate Charlotte in my desire for class and innocence, and sometimes channel Carrie when I find that one outfit that's perfect, but still slightly bizarre. (I'm not going to talk about Samantha, because I'd like to think I have nothing like her inside of me except her ability to be a powerful woman.)

That's my thought for the day. I think that's why so many girls love "Sex and the City" - we've all got a little of those ladies running through our feminine veins.

Now I'm off to a prom meeting with parents. A junior class sponsor's day is never done...

Chariots of Fire

2009-03-03T19:22:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I felt like I belonged in the movie "Chariots of Fire". I ran 4 miles! This may not seem like a lot, but for me, it is. Anyway, my goal is to build up to 5 this week. I never thought I'd be so excited by physical activity. Haha. I've never EVER been that type in my life.

I made cookies tonight for my class of juniors that are in remediation. Their state tests are next week (AH!). Anyway, I'm trying to be extremely positive with them and I want them to know that I believe in them. I've found that many times the best way to do this is with food.

My daily joy : looking at new pictures of my friends' babies on Facebook. David and I have been keeping up with Harper since we prayed so fervently during her stay in the hospital (www.kellyskornerblog.com), and I've also been praying for Emily, Kristy, and Lesley. I can't believe they all have kids!! When did we get to be that age? Anyway, Madison (Kristy's) and Hannah (Lesley's) were born last week and I just can't get over the sweet pictures.

I think this worries David that I'm ready to start having kids. :) I have to remind myself, though, that I'll be ready in a couple of years when I'm done with this Master's.

This weekend, we went to Fayetteville Northside Rotary Casino night. The theme this year was "Top Gun". It was about 15 degrees outside and snowing and the party was in an old airplane hanger turned museum. There was next to no heat in the place and it was frigid. Brittany and I tried to dance the night away to keep warm. Sarah and Brent came too, which was fun. They were little dancers too. I love going to those things because we always get to laugh and relax together....this time, we relaxed to the sounds of music from the 80's. Hearing the theme song to "Top Gun" took me back to junior high when Adrian and I watched that movie over and over again. Ahh, the days when Tom Cruise was normal.....

Now I'm a believer.

2009-02-17T17:38:00.000-08:00

Until I started teaching I never believed in superstitions surrounding full moons and random dates. Now I am becoming a believer.

We've all had those weeks where the kids seem to be more crazy than usual. I always come into the lounge at my wit's end and say, "What is WRONG with them today?!" More often than not, the response is, "It's a full moon." Hmm. Then, the end of last week came. Thursday we had a fight at school that ended with blood all over the hallway. Friday morning, we had 2 more fights and one threat. Again, I entered the lounge with my question, and the response this time was, "It's Friday the 13th." A friend of mine at another school said they had 7 fights on the same day! What!?

I am usually a cynic. I do not believe in good and bad luck. My question is, do we create a self-fulfilling prophecy by predicting the kids will be crazy on Friday the 13th or do weird dates and the pull of the moon actually affect our systems? I'm beginning to think that maybe some of these aren't just old wives tales...

Snow Day Gone Bad

2009-01-30T09:59:00.000-08:00

My marvelous snow day turned on me!

It turned out that a simple "snow day" was the beginning of the worst ice storm in NWA history!

Our electricity went out Tuesday around 2 p.m. and it came back on this morning around 8:30. I will not complain because there are still people without power. However, I will say that I learned a lot about how I spend my time.

1 - I learned that I depend on technology. When I couldn't charge my laptop, couldn't access email, and couldn't charge my cell phone, I felt completely disconnected from the rest of the world.

2 - I learned that David and I can have lots of fun without tv, movies, internet, or even lights! When he got home every night, we'd make dinner (usually peanut butter or turkey sandwiches) and then we'd spend lots of time talking and laughing together. When it got too dark, we'd light all our candles, light the fire, and pull out the Scrabble game. We have a blast playing Scrabble. Unfortunately, by night 2 of this, we were no longer making real words and every play was a challenge play. The one day that he was off work, we took the dogs for a walk around the icy neighborhood. We had a wonderful time laughing at them and sliding around.

3 - I learned that I love my bed. During the outage, we had no heat. Thankfully, we have a gas fireplace. So we closed off the doors to the outer rooms and moved our lives into the living room, guest bathroom, and kitchen. Our "bed" was a pallet on the floor in front of the fireplace. As new and different as it was to sleep on the floor, I will be glad to return to my bed tonight.

4 - I learned to love my dogs even more than before! Our home became semi-communal because the dogs couldn't sleep outside in the ice. We made a "bed" for them next to ours'. Most evenings, they ended up on the pallet with us stealing all our covers. They certainly kept my spirits up when cabin fever hit.

5 - I learned that God's weather is amazing! The destruction from the storm is incredible. Our town looks like a bomb went off. I can't believe that ice can break so many trees and damage so many homes! Thankfully, our home remained undamaged.

6 - I learned that even I can get tired of reading. Halfway through my 3rd book of the storm, I thought, "I am ready to have movies and tv again!!!"

FYI : I read feed, The Wednesday Letters, and I'm halfway through The Boleyn Inheritance. (Lots of variety.)

So we survived it all! I don't know when we'll get back to school, but it looks like things are getting back to normal.

Now if I could just get my house clean......

Snow Day!

2009-01-26T19:10:00.001-08:00

I started this a few days ago to aid in my own reflection time. I am working towards a masters degree and I realized in my class how little I make note of reflections. I have never been a journal writer. Since it's important to look inward and contemplate, I make a habit of reflecting often, but it's time I started putting it in writing.

When I thought about my blog title, I wanted something that speaks to my personality. I love to read : novels, magazines, blogs, poetry, etc. My two favorite poets are John Donne and Robert Frost. For those of you unfamiliar with Frost's work, the title of my blog comes from a line of one of his greatest poems, "The Silken Tent". Using a tent as a metaphor, the poem describes a woman and the many intricacies of the female life...sounds unromantic, I know, but it's breathtaking. According to this poem, the only things that bind this strong, independent woman to earth are "countless silken ties of love and thought." Though I feel that I am bound to earth by stronger ties, I think that it's amazing how a man can so accurately capture the way I've felt SO many times. I've included the poem at the end of this post just so you can enjoy this amazing work of art. So there you go....a little about me.

Today is icy, and they have already called off school for tomorrow!!! I'm just taking in the peace of knowing I can sleep in on a Tuesday.

Until next time!

She is as in a field a silken tent
At midday when the sunny summer breeze
Has dried the dew and all its ropes relent,
So that in guys it gently sways at ease,
And its supporting central cedar pole,
That is its pinnacle to heavenward
And signifies the sureness of the soul,
Seems to owe naught to any single cord,
But strictly held by none, is loosely bound
By countless silken ties of love and thought
To every thing on earth the compass round,
And only by one's going slightly taut
In the capriciousness of summer air
Is of the slightlest bondage made aware.