Add It to the List...

Today is September 11 - 9 years since the day I was sitting in my World Civilizations class at OBU as a brand new freshman and heard the news that America had been attacked. I'd been in school for less than a month. There was not another day that I wanted to be back in Tyler more than that one. What a day.

My professor said he couldn't teach with things like that going on, so I went back to my dorm room to watch tv. I had visions of draft reinstatement and world war that didn't amount to much, but I have never felt the world change more clearly or quickly than in those hours watching tv. We had a campus-wide chapel to pray for our nation and our President, but mainly, I think we all just needed to be together for support.

Even today, as I was driving to town and saw flags at half mast, I felt some tears come to my eyes. September 11, 2001 will always be a day that is strongly tied to emotion for me and everyone who remembers it. (Of course, that's probably multiplied today by pregnancy hormones.) I don't think anyone really will read this besides me, but thank you to every person out there who's serving or has served our country. This day always makes me particularly grateful.

On a slightly lighter note, my crazy husband decided to fly today of all days on a "bucket list" sort of adventure. He left early this morning with Billy to fly to Amarillo, TX. Now, why would anyone randomly fly to Amarillo, you ask? Well, I'll tell you why : steak. BIG steak.

David and Billy flew to Amarillo to take on the Big Texan's 72 oz. steak challenge. In 1 hour, they tried to eat a steak the size of a barn, a potato, roll, salad, and 3 shrimp.

I am sad to report, neither of them succeeded. But that wasn't really the point, I suppose. After David returns and reports his feat of eating 44.8 oz of steak and some sides in a single sitting, it will become another "Remember that time when...." story for the 2 of them to laugh about. Just another thing to add to the list of quirks that make me love my husband so very much. Who else flies to Amarillo for a $72 "I attempted to eat the 72 oz steak" t-shirt (aka, meal payment for not finishing) and a bellyache?

(The moment of defeat)

It's Been Awhile

2 months since my last post. That's bad.

What have I been doing all this time??? Well, first there was school, then there was sickness, then there was exhaustion, then there was more school. I am sensing a trend.

After a month in Russellville working hard on my last summer of grad school (only 3 more classes to go!), I was more than worn out when David picked me up on our anniversary to move me home. Not only was I tired, I didn't feel very good either, I was nauseous and felt feverish. That night, I took a pregnancy test (for the heck of it). I always thought I'd have this "feeling" when I was pregnant, a sixth sense about what was happening in my body. Well, I had NO IDEA. Now that I've been feeling it for many weeks, I would know the feeling if it happened again, but there was no intuition happening here.

Now I'm 13 weeks along and feeling much better. The sickness is slowly wearing off. It only comes periodically now. It's strange to know that you have a baby inside, but not be able to see it or feel it. But I'm not rushing my belly to grow...after all, I'll have plenty of time to "enjoy" it once it's here. I know February 28th will be here soon enough. :)

David is extremely sweet and supportive. He picks up things at the store that have been tasting good to me, and hopes that they are still tasting good when he brings them home. I am very sensitive to smells, and have lost many an appetite due to unfriendly aromas.

We are enjoying this new change in our lives, while still going on with things as they have always been - I started back to school today. My students were excited to hear the news and wanted to ask all kinds of questions like if we got pregnant "on purpose". (In their defense, I guess most of the pregnancies they see are accidental.)

I am trying to keep a journal of my experience that the baby can read/laugh at some day...well, if it's a girl, she probably will. I doubt a boy would be too interested in reading it.

For now, I'm just as happy as can be, and feeling blessed every single day.

I will leave this post with a picture of our sweet "Bluebud" (David's came up with that one).

Things that make you go.....hmmm....

It's been forever since I've posted on here. Why? Well, mainly because I haven't had much to say lately. This semester has flown by and I have been busy to the level of insanity.

Today's post is about a lesson learned, and all the good reflection it has sparked over my 5 years of teaching. One of my suite-mates from college, and a fellow education major, Emily (see her pretty picture below and in previous posts) reopened this wound earlier today with her own blog post. So I thought I might join in the walk down memory lane.

(Emily and Harper - not Miles)

The story begins with a class that Emily and I had to take to complete our education major: Educational Technology. Now, I have taken Ed Tech classes since then that are what I consider...oh....educational....and technological. This class was neither.

We learned PowerPoint. We learned how to turn on an overhead projector and then how to properly turn it off (it's an art, really). We learned how to oh so carefully change the slides in a slide reel. Seriously...a slide reel - this was a class taken after the year 1990, just to clarify.

Anyway, I digress. Emily pulled out a scratch piece of paper one day during class and we started writing notes back and forth. The topic of the note mainly centered on how bored we were, and how we couldn't wait to get out of class. I didn't think about it again when we left class and headed to the rest of our day.

Then, I was sitting in my next class when a teacher's assistant came and asked me to stop by my Ed Tech professor's office after class.......what?

I started thinking about how she probably wanted to thank me for doing a great job with changing slides or something, and took off towards our classroom when my current class was over.

As I bounced into my professor's office, something told me - TURN BACK, DON'T GO INSIDE. The something that told me this was the look on my professor's face, and the matching look on Emily's face when I saw her sitting right inside the office. Oh. Dear.

To make a long story short, our note almost forced this lady into early retirement. Emily had written something along the lines of "This class is for retards". I, of course, do not condone the use of this word in any derogatory manner, and neither does Emily, but we were stupid college kids writing a note in class. However, from the tears streaking down the face of the professor, she took this note VERY personally. She launched into a tirade about our insult to her teaching and about how she just "could not handle this right now" because of "issues" in her personal life (there were specifics mentioned - funeral preparations, mother-in-laws - I don't even remember). We sincerely apologized to this woman over and over and OVER again for the next hour, and left her office feeling like the worst people on earth.

So why am I sharing this lowest of the low moment for all to read? I'm telling it because at the time, even though I felt bad, I knew that something was wrong. I wasn't a teacher yet, so I didn't know what it felt like to have a room full of kids waiting to be entertained (pretty intimidating). But at the same time, I vowed that I would never let this happen to me - my personal life needed to stay as far away from my job as possible.

Thanks to that professor, I have kept this promise. I've had 17 year old kids say some bad things to me - ranging from the perverse to the flat out rude (see: "Mrs. Savage, don't be offended by this but have you gained weight?"). But I have kept my promise to myself, and to Emily. I might have shed a few tears from day to day in my career, but never EVER in front of my kids. If one my my students hurts my feelings, I talk to them and help them to see how this behavior is not one that works for them. I keep my emotions to myself...even if I'm having a bad day.....even if I'm mad at something David did.....even if I was feeling particularly fat at that moment, thank you very much.

My students are a great blessing to me. My stupidity and that professor's poor handling of the situation ruined any tiny amount of potential for a healthy teacher/student relationship. And any chance of me learning from her ended that day. We were completely in the wrong, but we still lost all respect for her.

Now, I'm stepping down from my tiny soapbox to say one final thing: teaching is the most rewarding career on earth. Whether you teach little ones who need help blowing noses or big ones who need help finishing Algebra, you're going to go home at the end of the day exhausted but fulfilled. My call into the "principal's office" of college showed me one thing: life is WAY too short to take things personally in the classroom.

Hope

"Now these remain: faith, HOPE, and love, but the greatest of these is love."

I memorized that verse in elementary school for a speaking competition at the school, but it wasn't until a few days ago that I thought about the word in the middle of those three.

We talk about faith a lot as believers. Faith is believing, and trusting, even when you can't see. Faith is what we profess when we show the world He saved us. Faith is very important.

Love is...well, I can't say it better than Paul did....it's the greatest. It's the reason we're even allowed to have faith. "Behold what manner of love the Father has given unto us." We are loved.

But it's not often that I've stopped to think about hope. When I was dating David, I knew that we would someday be here. I had faith that God had shown me His will for my life. I don't think I did a very good job of hoping for David. I didn't let God give me the peace that He will give along with the calm, trusting desire of hope.

After years of hearing people say, "Don't get your hopes up", I have come to view hope as something I don't deserve. That's not what God wants for me. I felt Him say this clearly to me as I drove home the other day. I stopped and thought, "Why NOT hope?" Hope is from God. Hope is trust in Him that what desires He has placed in my heart will come to their fruition. Hope is powerful.

I know that it's not all about what we want, or what we think we need, and that's not what I mean by hope. But I've realized that it's ok to hope with all my heart for the things that I pray to my Father about, as long as it's also a humble hope, and a trusting hope in His will.

Today I will make the choice to simply and unabashedly......hope.

Update

So apparently I am an awful blogger. I mean, it has been August since I last posted. In the words of Charlie Brown, "Good grief."Since my last post, school has started, and I've been so busy running here and there to keep up. Last year, Heather and I decided to apply to be Learning Coaches for the Arkansas Leadership Academy's Teacher Institute. We went through the program as participants last year and loved it so much. In September, I made the trek up to Petit Jean Mountain (spec the Winthrop Rockefeller Institute) for a half-week of coaching teachers. It has been such a joy to my life. If I could do this for a living, I would. I know it's not ideal since it takes me away from home so often, but I love helping teachers discover what good teaching looks like.My group of teachers are precious. They are so eager to learn and they wholeheartedly adhere to the process of the academy. They are my reason for returning. Who knew that the field of teaching would go from being so independent to being so collaborative. (Of course, it certainly has taken awhile to get there.)

Moving on so as not to bore those of you reading this (I could talk about teaching forever), I have a new job this year. I'm working half of my days in the library. So far that has meant a million hours of back-breaking work for yours truly. First, I decided to reshelve all of our fiction section because I was tired of having to explain it to students. I mean, the fiction section of all things should be user friendly. Then, I decided to paint....the whole library....by myself. Yikes. Thankfully I have had helpful students who have assisted me, otherwise, I'd be in there until next November. We hope to have a mural on the walls by the end of the year and I am SO

excited about it. You know how sometimes you can have this great vision in your head but no one else can see it? Well, I have that vision of what the finished product will look like, but I don't think anyone else sees it yet. I just pray it turns out like I think it will.

On the home front, I am right now seated beside the two most precious pups in the world. They just ate breakfast awhile ago so Remus is burping periodically then looking at me

apologetically. He's such a lover, all he ever wants to do is snuggle (mostly with David, not me). Darsee is napping too. She's my smart one who figured out how to get some Chick-fil-a Saturday out of the trash bag. I can't say I blame her, we love Chick-fil-a that much in this family.

It's Thanksgiving week! Tomorrow we leave for Tyler!!! I can't even say how very excited I am about this. This is our first year to spend Thanksgiving with my family since we've been married. And to top it all off...this afternoon I am going to see "New Moon" with Brittany. Emery thanked me for going so that he doesn't have to...hehe. David actually offered to go see it with me, but I think that's just cruel. So we're having a girls' afternoon. I NEED ONE!

In honor of Thanksgiving, I would like to raise my thanks to God for the following things:

my family (Mom, Dad, Allison, Ash, JB, Rita, Jones, Sarah, Dan, and Janna), my precious pups who make me smile all the time, my three classes of 11th grade students - they bring light to my life, all of my friends who live in other places (see previous post), all of my friends who live here, and most importantly, my best friend who loves me unconditionally (and even watched "The Proposal" with me last night") - David

Give thanks with a grateful heart. I know I do.

Audra

Cracking Under Pressure

Ok, so it's not as serious as it sounds. I don't really have lots of pressure to be cracking under yet...ask me again in a month and my answer may change. I'm just giving in to the peer pressure to put pictures up on my blog. 

Yesterday/today I got to have the BEST time with friends! Last night, Lesley drove in from Missouri so I headed over to Brittany's house after Bunco to see Les and her sweet baby Hannah. As if that wasn't enough fun, we stayed up until 2 a.m. talking - just like old times in the OBU dorms! (Hannah did not participate in the late night talk.) :) Then today, after a meeting at school, I headed to Rick's for lunch with Lesley and Hannah, Brittany, Christen, Emily and Miles, and Kelly and Harper! It was quite the crowd! 

  

(Emily, Brittany, Christen, Lesley with Hannah, and me!)

This was my first time to meet Miles and Harper (and Hannah the night before). It was such a blessing to me to see all these babies that have been the subject of so many of my fervent prayers.

 

We had a wonderful time laughing and talking...and laughing.  

(Kelly with Harper and Emily with Miles - Sorry, Miles...it's a weird picture, but I had to put it because Harper was SO

 loving her new friend.)

These friends are some of my most precious even though some live too far away. Come back soon Emily and Lesley and we'll have more fun lunches!!! 

(Miles and Emily, me with Hannah)

Long time...

It's been a month since I last blogged! Clearly this is a busy time of year. This year is different for me than others. 

Usually, this time of year, I'd be relishing every last moment with those students who I love so much that I will miss terribly next year. I'd be planning finals, but taking it easy with the students. I'd be feeling butterflies of excitement in anticipation of summer. 

THIS year, I am still cherishing my students. This has been the best class I've ever had. I have been so blessed by each and every one of them. And even on the rough days, I've been thankful for them. I have also been pretty tough on them and I hope they look back someday and remember me with happiness. However, there is no rest for the weary. I have zero excitement about the end of school because the last day of school for the kids is the first day of school for me. Next Thursday, I'll be in Russellville starting class and living in a bare-bones apartment with Heather. 

The craziness from this is unbelievable. Giving finals early has helped me out a little. The kids are being great to help me get things together for the end of the year. But I just don't feel like I can get everything done! I worked ALL DAY LONG on things while the students were reviewing and I felt like I was just spinning my wheels. 

Thank goodness for coming home at night. David and the dogs give me such joy. Combined with the peace that passes all understanding, I am a happy (but tired) woman. 

Tonight I made brownies for David and peach jam for myself. The very act of standing over the stove stirring the most beautiful peach-colored liquid until it thickened was so relaxing. (Not to mention the fact that it made a pretty darn good jam!)

Now I think I will go and take a nice bath before bed. Tomorrow is the day to worry about unloading the dishes, finishing my paper, creating a presentation for class, and making a list of all the things I need to take with me to the apartment. 

May you all be looking forward to June more than I am! :)