- I was in my freshman year at OBU, in fact, I'd been there for less than a month.
- I had never been so far away from my family for such an extended period of time.
- I was looking forward and excited about my future.
- My best friends were spread across the U.S. Some were back in Texas, Lindsay was in VA,
Angela was in Fayetteville, AR (ironically).
- I was just learning to really depend on God to help me through the loneliness that comes when you
you move away from all that you've ever known.
- I had never met David...he was attending the U of A and working at Arvest...in fact, I'd never been
to NW Arkansas at all.
On that morning, I was in Dr. Auffenberg's World Civilizations class. The first tower had already been hit, but I had no idea - I had just rolled out of bed and rushed to make it to class on time. A student aide who worked in the history department came into our class as Dr. A was informing us about the first tower, and told the professor that the second tower had been hit by a plane - it was clear this was no accident.
I remember feeling very confused. Dr. A told us that he felt sick. He said, "I can't hold class like this - not with this going on." He told us to go back to our rooms. That was when I knew it was more serious than my initial impression.
We had chapel that day, and no classes for the rest of the afternoon. I spent my day in the dorm, watching the footage on the news over and over again. I called my mom, and I cried. I felt like a world separated me from my family - even though we were only a 3 1/2 hour drive apart. Lesley and I talked about the future - "What if there's a war?" "What if there's a DRAFT?" "What about the husbands we'd been hoping to find here at college? Would they leave to fight this new enemy?" Even though we never said it, I think all of us realized the innocence and sense of security that our nation had lost.
10 years later....I sat outside tonight with Elysen and David. I told him how amazing it is to me that someday, Elysen will say to me, "Mom, I can't believe there was ever a time you could walk with a person to their departure gate at the airport!"
I sat in church this morning and cried as we listened to the song "There is Hope" by Dave Pettigrew. I teared up all week as I read the articles and watched the tv specials remembering the fallen. As I sat there tonight, I wondered why it makes me so emotional. I didn't lose anyone personally on that day. I didn't know any of the firemen who died. I didn't even know anyone who lived in NY at the time. But as I sat and thought, I realized that the sadness I feel every time we reach the anniversary of 9/11 comes partially from the loss our country experienced, but mostly, it comes from the glaring reality that the world we live in is full of evil and full of sin.
There are wonderful things in this world that I have experienced over the past 10 years. I married a man who treats me far better than I deserve. I have a precious girl who tugs at my heart each and every time I look at her. My family is healthy, and I've gained a 2 brothers-in-law, 2 sisters-in-law, and a mother and father-in-law! I have so much to be thankful for. But in the midst of it all, we still have terrorists, and murder, and sin. Every year on September 11th, I remember that we are not long for this world, and that while we are here on an earth where Satan can influence people to commit such atrocities, the only way we can have hope is to look to Jesus.
In a way, that is what I will always remember about this day: the feeling of lostness, and of desperation, and above all, the feeling that there is only One who will always, always be our hope.
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