Go ahead and laugh

         Today was one of many girl movie outings with Brittany. She counts on me to go to the movies that Emery can't stand...i.e. Harry Potter, romantic comedies, and Twilight. Today was about the last category on that list. We both really enjoyed the movie - and that is why I titled this post "Go ahead and laugh". Yes, I am an adult and yes, today I liked a Twilight movie. But, for those of you who are still reading, I would like to say that my enjoyment today did not in any way come from the phenomenon known as the great Edward Cullen.
        When I discovered this series (and I do say "discovered" because I had no idea what a craze I would inspire by ordering this relatively unknown book from the Scholastic magazine), I was in my first year at Lincoln...that would be 7 years ago. I read it first because I wanted to see if a vampire tale could possibly be appropriate for the classroom library (because Anne Rice is not really up my alley). I continued reading because I liked the story. And I continued to give it to my students because it was doing something I couldn't: it was making them read!
         When I read New Moon, I had just fallen head over heels in love with David, and I felt the pain of Bella's loss because I could imagine how I would feel if it were my own. Today, I felt that same sensation...sort of. My eyes watered during the wedding scene (I have to admit, I always tear up at weddings). But it was a song on the soundtrack that pulled me in the most. The melody is lovely, and the singer's voice is just the right amount of scratchy but on-pitch. But the lyrics...

         "I surrender who I’ve been for who you are,
         For nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart.
         If I had only felt how it feels to be yours,
         Well, I would have known what I’ve been living for all along.
         What I’ve been living for.
                          - "Turning Pages" by Sleeping at Last

          I told David tonight that, yes, I though of him, but the reason I had to pick up a tissue to dab my eyes for th rest of the movie was because of Bella and her sacrifice for her child. When she talked to her unborn child and felt her move...teary eyes. When she refused to sacrifice her child's life to save her own...teary eyes. When the baby was born and made its first tiny baby noises...I'll be darned if Brittany didn't have tears on her cheeks as well. When Jacob realizes what it is to live for another person in a completely (well, almost completely) unselfish way...I had to get another napkin.
          Before any of you starts to wonder why I haven't mentioned it: of course, I know that the greatest sacrificial love was exemplified in my Savior. However, I couldn't come close to understanding it before I became a mother. Now, I still don't fully understand the love of Christ but I do understand what it is to "surrender who I've been" in order to help Elysen become who she will be. Even though she is not ALL I've been living for my whole life, she is the reason that I know what it means to truly love another unselfishly and through that, to truly live. So laugh all you want, I will admit...I went to a Twilight movie and I shed tears as though it was real life. There are just those times when a movie hits you on a perfect day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E20WNhsDXwE