Hope

"Now these remain: faith, HOPE, and love, but the greatest of these is love."

I memorized that verse in elementary school for a speaking competition at the school, but it wasn't until a few days ago that I thought about the word in the middle of those three.

We talk about faith a lot as believers. Faith is believing, and trusting, even when you can't see. Faith is what we profess when we show the world He saved us. Faith is very important.

Love is...well, I can't say it better than Paul did....it's the greatest. It's the reason we're even allowed to have faith. "Behold what manner of love the Father has given unto us." We are loved.

But it's not often that I've stopped to think about hope. When I was dating David, I knew that we would someday be here. I had faith that God had shown me His will for my life. I don't think I did a very good job of hoping for David. I didn't let God give me the peace that He will give along with the calm, trusting desire of hope.

After years of hearing people say, "Don't get your hopes up", I have come to view hope as something I don't deserve. That's not what God wants for me. I felt Him say this clearly to me as I drove home the other day. I stopped and thought, "Why NOT hope?" Hope is from God. Hope is trust in Him that what desires He has placed in my heart will come to their fruition. Hope is powerful.

I know that it's not all about what we want, or what we think we need, and that's not what I mean by hope. But I've realized that it's ok to hope with all my heart for the things that I pray to my Father about, as long as it's also a humble hope, and a trusting hope in His will.

Today I will make the choice to simply and unabashedly......hope.

Update

So apparently I am an awful blogger. I mean, it has been August since I last posted. In the words of Charlie Brown, "Good grief."Since my last post, school has started, and I've been so busy running here and there to keep up. Last year, Heather and I decided to apply to be Learning Coaches for the Arkansas Leadership Academy's Teacher Institute. We went through the program as participants last year and loved it so much. In September, I made the trek up to Petit Jean Mountain (spec the Winthrop Rockefeller Institute) for a half-week of coaching teachers. It has been such a joy to my life. If I could do this for a living, I would. I know it's not ideal since it takes me away from home so often, but I love helping teachers discover what good teaching looks like.My group of teachers are precious. They are so eager to learn and they wholeheartedly adhere to the process of the academy. They are my reason for returning. Who knew that the field of teaching would go from being so independent to being so collaborative. (Of course, it certainly has taken awhile to get there.)

Moving on so as not to bore those of you reading this (I could talk about teaching forever), I have a new job this year. I'm working half of my days in the library. So far that has meant a million hours of back-breaking work for yours truly. First, I decided to reshelve all of our fiction section because I was tired of having to explain it to students. I mean, the fiction section of all things should be user friendly. Then, I decided to paint....the whole library....by myself. Yikes. Thankfully I have had helpful students who have assisted me, otherwise, I'd be in there until next November. We hope to have a mural on the walls by the end of the year and I am SO

excited about it. You know how sometimes you can have this great vision in your head but no one else can see it? Well, I have that vision of what the finished product will look like, but I don't think anyone else sees it yet. I just pray it turns out like I think it will.

On the home front, I am right now seated beside the two most precious pups in the world. They just ate breakfast awhile ago so Remus is burping periodically then looking at me

apologetically. He's such a lover, all he ever wants to do is snuggle (mostly with David, not me). Darsee is napping too. She's my smart one who figured out how to get some Chick-fil-a Saturday out of the trash bag. I can't say I blame her, we love Chick-fil-a that much in this family.

It's Thanksgiving week! Tomorrow we leave for Tyler!!! I can't even say how very excited I am about this. This is our first year to spend Thanksgiving with my family since we've been married. And to top it all off...this afternoon I am going to see "New Moon" with Brittany. Emery thanked me for going so that he doesn't have to...hehe. David actually offered to go see it with me, but I think that's just cruel. So we're having a girls' afternoon. I NEED ONE!

In honor of Thanksgiving, I would like to raise my thanks to God for the following things:

my family (Mom, Dad, Allison, Ash, JB, Rita, Jones, Sarah, Dan, and Janna), my precious pups who make me smile all the time, my three classes of 11th grade students - they bring light to my life, all of my friends who live in other places (see previous post), all of my friends who live here, and most importantly, my best friend who loves me unconditionally (and even watched "The Proposal" with me last night") - David

Give thanks with a grateful heart. I know I do.

Audra

Cracking Under Pressure

Ok, so it's not as serious as it sounds. I don't really have lots of pressure to be cracking under yet...ask me again in a month and my answer may change. I'm just giving in to the peer pressure to put pictures up on my blog. 

Yesterday/today I got to have the BEST time with friends! Last night, Lesley drove in from Missouri so I headed over to Brittany's house after Bunco to see Les and her sweet baby Hannah. As if that wasn't enough fun, we stayed up until 2 a.m. talking - just like old times in the OBU dorms! (Hannah did not participate in the late night talk.) :) Then today, after a meeting at school, I headed to Rick's for lunch with Lesley and Hannah, Brittany, Christen, Emily and Miles, and Kelly and Harper! It was quite the crowd! 

  

(Emily, Brittany, Christen, Lesley with Hannah, and me!)

This was my first time to meet Miles and Harper (and Hannah the night before). It was such a blessing to me to see all these babies that have been the subject of so many of my fervent prayers.

 

We had a wonderful time laughing and talking...and laughing.  

(Kelly with Harper and Emily with Miles - Sorry, Miles...it's a weird picture, but I had to put it because Harper was SO

 loving her new friend.)

These friends are some of my most precious even though some live too far away. Come back soon Emily and Lesley and we'll have more fun lunches!!! 

(Miles and Emily, me with Hannah)

Long time...

It's been a month since I last blogged! Clearly this is a busy time of year. This year is different for me than others. 

Usually, this time of year, I'd be relishing every last moment with those students who I love so much that I will miss terribly next year. I'd be planning finals, but taking it easy with the students. I'd be feeling butterflies of excitement in anticipation of summer. 

THIS year, I am still cherishing my students. This has been the best class I've ever had. I have been so blessed by each and every one of them. And even on the rough days, I've been thankful for them. I have also been pretty tough on them and I hope they look back someday and remember me with happiness. However, there is no rest for the weary. I have zero excitement about the end of school because the last day of school for the kids is the first day of school for me. Next Thursday, I'll be in Russellville starting class and living in a bare-bones apartment with Heather. 

The craziness from this is unbelievable. Giving finals early has helped me out a little. The kids are being great to help me get things together for the end of the year. But I just don't feel like I can get everything done! I worked ALL DAY LONG on things while the students were reviewing and I felt like I was just spinning my wheels. 

Thank goodness for coming home at night. David and the dogs give me such joy. Combined with the peace that passes all understanding, I am a happy (but tired) woman. 

Tonight I made brownies for David and peach jam for myself. The very act of standing over the stove stirring the most beautiful peach-colored liquid until it thickened was so relaxing. (Not to mention the fact that it made a pretty darn good jam!)

Now I think I will go and take a nice bath before bed. Tomorrow is the day to worry about unloading the dishes, finishing my paper, creating a presentation for class, and making a list of all the things I need to take with me to the apartment. 

May you all be looking forward to June more than I am! :)

A Mother's Love

There are few things that are as exciting to me as visitors from home. And guess what? We're getting some this weekend! My parents are coming up this weekend for David's deacon ordination. I'm so proud of my hubby for being such an amazing man of God. He amazes me.

Right now, even the thoughts of how much I have to clean up dust and dog hair are nothing compared to the fact that my Mom and Dad will be here to have fun with us. Mom loves to see her "grand-puppies" and of course Darsee and Remus love visitors so it works out all around. 

Today I made a huge batch of chicken salad for them and David to munch on when we're at the house. I also have to make a cake for a party. I've picked out a really nice recipe, so I hope all goes as planned. 

All in all, this is shaping up to be a weekend of fun!

I Made It!

Well, we survived skiing. New Mexico was beautiful. I'll put pictures up on Facebook. 

Dan proposed to Janna and her parents came to surprise her. It was so sweet. We had a blast hanging out with them. Sarah also brought Brent which made it even more fun and exciting. There were so many people in the lodge that I felt a little overwhelmed at times, I'll admit. I think we all did. David's cousin Rachel brought her 3 little boys and they added a certain element of craziness to the week. Also, David's Aunt Ruth came with her 2 foreign exchange students, Up and Virginia. They made me laugh because they'd never been anywhere like New Mexico (Up is from Thailand and Virginia is from Ecuador). They had never seen any snow! 

Sadly, after surviving 2 days of skiing, I ended up getting sick on the evening after our last skiing day. I had fever and chills the whole way home and all day yesterday. That's certainly no fun. But it seems that I am now close to being completely well...Just in time to go back to school...:(

Spring Break Begins!

Now, if only it felt like spring outside. Instead it's rainy and chilly. I'm not feeling super, so I'm trying to rest a little while preparing for...(drumroll, please)...our trip to New Mexico tomorrow! David went to town this morning for a gun show (I will never understand), and he dropped by Wal-Mart on the way home to pick up snacks for tomorrow. Now that he's home, I think the official preparation will begin. I'm about halfway packed. 

Right now, I am watching one of my favorite shows with the pups. Don't ask me why I'm so fascinated by "18 Kids and Counting", but something about a family with 18 kids has the ability to seriously hold my interest. I admire the fact that TLC has so many shows with parents who uphold strong beliefs in Christianity and morality. It's refreshing to see. 

Ok, it's time to admit to the fact that I have a trip tomorrow. All my ski gear is going to eventually be packed into the suitcase (it's all so poofy). I also have a batch of cookies to make, 2 presents to wrap, and a birthday present to find. Wish me happy skiing!

There's A Little "Sex and the City" In All Of Us

Today, as I was running the 3 miles I'd set for myself (did I mention I did over 5 on Saturday!?!), I laughed as I started thinking about "Sex and the City". That might seem like a bizarre thing to think about while exercising, but here's why. I was reminded of Miranda on the episode where she has her baby, Brady. She tells Carrie to make sure that the nurses aren't being "too cheerful and encouraging" because that makes her really angry. I realized today that I am like this about exercise. It takes all of my patience and strength to do those workout dvds because I hate those people who keep saying "You can do it!" or "Keep it up!" AHH!!! So, enough of the encouragement, it's more encouraging for me just to say to myself, "Let's get this over with!" I think I'd respond well to those trainers on "The Biggest Loser" who just yell at the people when they aren't working out. 

So that's Miranda. I emulate Charlotte in my desire for class and innocence, and sometimes channel Carrie when I find that one outfit that's perfect, but still slightly bizarre. (I'm not going to talk about Samantha, because I'd like to think I have nothing like her inside of me except her ability to be a powerful woman.) 

That's my thought for the day. I think that's why so many girls love "Sex and the City" - we've all got a little of those ladies running through our feminine veins. 

Now I'm off to a prom meeting with parents. A junior class sponsor's day is never done...

Chariots of Fire

Yesterday, I felt like I belonged in the movie "Chariots of Fire". I ran 4 miles! This may not seem like a lot, but for me, it is. Anyway, my goal is to build up to 5 this week. I never thought I'd be so excited by physical activity. Haha. I've never EVER been that type in my life.

I made cookies tonight for my class of juniors that are in remediation. Their state tests are next week (AH!). Anyway, I'm trying to be extremely positive with them and I want them to know that I believe in them. I've found that many times the best way to do this is with food. 

My daily joy : looking at new pictures of my friends' babies on Facebook. David and I have been keeping up with Harper since we prayed so fervently during her stay in the hospital (www.kellyskornerblog.com), and I've also been praying for Emily, Kristy, and Lesley. I can't believe they all have kids!! When did we get to be that age? Anyway, Madison (Kristy's) and Hannah (Lesley's) were born last week and I just can't get over the sweet pictures. 

I think this worries David that I'm ready to start having kids. :) I have to remind myself, though, that I'll be ready in a couple of years when I'm done with this Master's. 

This weekend, we went to Fayetteville Northside Rotary Casino night. The theme this year was "Top Gun". It was about 15 degrees outside and snowing and the party was in an old airplane hanger turned museum. There was next to no heat in the place and it was frigid. Brittany and I tried to dance the night away to keep warm. Sarah and Brent came too, which was fun. They were little dancers too. I love going to those things because we always get to laugh and relax together....this time, we relaxed to the sounds of music from the 80's. Hearing the theme song to "Top Gun" took me back to junior high when Adrian and I watched that movie over and over again. Ahh, the days when Tom Cruise was normal.....

Now I'm a believer.

Until I started teaching I never believed in superstitions surrounding full moons and random dates. Now I am becoming a believer. 

We've all had those weeks where the kids seem to be more crazy than usual. I always come into the lounge at my wit's end and say, "What is WRONG with them today?!" More often than not, the response is, "It's a full moon." Hmm. Then, the end of last week came. Thursday we had a fight at school that ended with blood all over the hallway. Friday morning, we had 2 more fights and one threat. Again, I entered the lounge with my question, and the response this time was, "It's Friday the 13th." A friend of mine at another school said they had 7 fights on the same day! What!?

I am usually a cynic. I do not believe in good and bad luck. My question is, do we create a self-fulfilling prophecy by predicting the kids will be crazy on Friday the 13th or do weird dates and the pull of the moon actually affect our systems? I'm beginning to think that maybe some of these aren't just old wives tales...

Snow Day Gone Bad

My marvelous snow day turned on me!

It turned out that a simple "snow day" was the beginning of the worst ice storm in NWA history! 

Our electricity went out Tuesday around 2 p.m. and it came back on this morning around 8:30. I will not complain because there are still people without power. However, I will say that I learned a lot about how I spend my time. 

1 - I learned that I depend on technology. When I couldn't charge my laptop, couldn't access email, and couldn't charge my cell phone, I felt completely disconnected from the rest of the world. 

2 - I learned that David and I can have lots of fun without tv, movies, internet, or even lights! When he got home every night, we'd make dinner (usually peanut butter or turkey sandwiches) and then we'd spend lots of time talking and laughing together. When it got too dark, we'd light all our candles, light the fire, and pull out the Scrabble game. We have a blast playing Scrabble. Unfortunately, by night 2 of this, we were no longer making real words and every play was a challenge play. The one day that he was off work, we took the dogs for a walk around the icy neighborhood. We had a wonderful time laughing at them and sliding around.

3 - I learned that I love my bed. During the outage, we had no heat. Thankfully, we have a gas fireplace. So we closed off the doors to the outer rooms and moved our lives into the living room, guest bathroom, and kitchen. Our "bed" was a pallet on the floor in front of the fireplace. As new and different as it was to sleep on the floor, I will be glad to return to my bed tonight. 

4 - I learned to love my dogs even more than before! Our home became semi-communal because the dogs couldn't sleep outside in the ice. We made a "bed" for them next to ours'. Most evenings, they ended up on the pallet with us stealing all our covers. They certainly kept my spirits up when cabin fever hit.

5 - I learned that God's weather is amazing! The destruction from the storm is incredible. Our town looks like a bomb went off. I can't believe that ice can break so many trees and damage so many homes! Thankfully, our home remained undamaged. 

6 - I learned that even I can get tired of reading. Halfway through my 3rd book of the storm, I thought, "I am ready to have movies and tv again!!!" 

FYI : I read feed, The Wednesday Letters, and I'm halfway through The Boleyn Inheritance. (Lots of variety.)

So we survived it all! I don't know when we'll get back to school, but it looks like things are getting back to normal. 

Now if I could just get my house clean......

Snow Day!

I started this a few days ago to aid in my own reflection time. I am working towards a masters degree and I realized in my class how little I make note of reflections. I have never been a journal writer. Since it's important to look inward and contemplate, I make a habit of reflecting often, but it's time I started putting it in writing. 

When I thought about my blog title, I wanted something that speaks to my personality. I love to read : novels, magazines, blogs, poetry, etc. My two favorite poets are John Donne and Robert Frost. For those of you unfamiliar with Frost's work, the title of my blog comes from a line of one of his greatest poems, "The Silken Tent". Using a tent as a metaphor, the poem describes a woman and the many intricacies of the female life...sounds unromantic, I know, but it's breathtaking. According to this poem, the only things that bind this strong, independent woman to earth are "countless silken ties of love and thought." Though I feel that I am bound to earth by stronger ties, I think that it's amazing how a man can so accurately capture the way I've felt SO many times. I've included the poem at the end of this post just so you can enjoy this amazing work of art. So there you go....a little about me. 

Today is icy, and they have already called off school for tomorrow!!! I'm just taking in the peace of knowing I can sleep in on a Tuesday. 

Until next time!

She is as in a field a silken tent
At midday when the sunny summer breeze
Has dried the dew and all its ropes relent,
So that in guys it gently sways at ease,
And its supporting central cedar pole,
That is its pinnacle to heavenward
And signifies the sureness of the soul,
Seems to owe naught to any single cord,
But strictly held by none, is loosely bound
By countless silken ties of love and thought
To every thing on earth the compass round,
And only by one's going slightly taut
In the capriciousness of summer air
Is of the slightlest bondage made aware.